Paid in day old bagels

You didn't get what you were looking for, expected, or were rightfully due.

"I was looking for a salary raise, and all I got was a gift card to Tower Records- I just got paid in day old bagels."

by Captain Lovepants November 17, 2011

my dog ate a bagel

A famous excuse for not coming in on mondays.

employee 1: hey i can't come in today my dog ate a bagel

jared: thats okay buddy i want to be your best friend.

by Mr. Peterson February 16, 2008

whatever toasts your bagel

Synonymous with "Whatever floats your boat"

An expression used as a response when someone else says something that is somewhat strange or odd.

Person A: "I like to sleep with socks on."
Person B: "Whatever toasts your bagel."

by Alexandra(: May 8, 2010

The Hand That Rocks the Bagel Burger

A special burger that comes on an everything bagel

"Hey Bob, what's the burger of the day?" "It's The Hand That Rocks the Bagel Burger, you should try it!"

by America Lover 🇺🇸 November 20, 2018

Poon Bagel with Cream Cheese

When a guy fucks a jewish girl then cums all over her pussy.

Jim:Yo what did you have for breakfast?
Kevin: I had a poon bagel with cream cheese and it was poonarific

by King of Poon January 7, 2009

Cream cheesing her bagel

To shoot ones skeet skeet on a girls bum hole as the grand finale of a sexual adventure

Dan: Hey, did you have sex with that girl last night?
Wayne: Ya, and I finished by cream cheesing her bagel
Dan: OH Wayne, you the nastiest!

by Encyclopedia Brentannica November 13, 2009

Bagel with Jersey Cream Cheese

When a guy busts a nut on his tummy and then squeezes around the naval to make it look the outside part of a bagel and then has someone lick it off!

Matt jizzed on his belly and squeezed around the naval. Paula asked why he was doing that and Matt said its a Bagel with Jersey Cream Cheese. Paula was hungry so she just licked it off.

by PBare & MPBhaus October 17, 2008