Mormon Stuff

A term describing mormon events, church duties, religious practices, reading material, generally anything involving the mormon religion or culture.

Usually used by a mormon to a non-mormon who doesn't want further inquire further in his doings or whereabouts, because the non-mormon won't agree, or understand anyway.

Used by mormons to get out of something, and scapegoating it on their church.

Used my non-mormons to describe the behavior of a mormon, or to ridicule a non-mormon for exemplar behavior.
Non-Mormon: Want to hang out this Sunday?
Mormon: Nah dude, I have mormon stuff to do.

Non-Mormon: What are you reading?
Mormon: Mormon Stuff

Non-Mormon: Want to go to the bar with me tonight?
Mormon: I'll pass. I have mormon stuff to do.

Non-Mormon 1: Let's go to the strip club.
Non-Mormon 2: Nah, I have mormon stuff to do.

Sherie to a girlfriend: Jim didn't want to go for a late night skinny dip at the lake, he had better mormon stuff to do.
by grace52775 August 24, 2011
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Mormon Relief Society

Mormon women. Click-ish, horrible women who act “Christ-like” to your face and gossip behind your back. The Mormon version of a succubus, so no physical touch or any companionship, just friendly enough to extract information from you to report negative news to the “leadership” of the branch or ward, which they turn around and use as Mormon blackmail, insisting that you must do as they say or else face outer darkness.
A: Is the Mormon relief society doing anything to combat poverty?

B: fuck no
by Rabbitfox February 21, 2021
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Anti Mormon Defense Wall

"Thank fuck for the anti Mormon defense wall, some of them get through occasionally, but we're still allowed to buy more than just 3.2 beer."
by Craig Chompson December 29, 2019
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Mormon blow job

When a person rests their dick on another person's tongue while lying down and jiggles their penis by giggling. Also known as a John Smith.
Oh yeah, I got a Mormon blow job last night while watching Veggie Tales - I laughed so hard I came all over her face!

Jane only John Smiths me, it's too bad she won't let me watch cat fails while doing it... I'd blow such a load if a rat started chasing a cat around.
by humdrumcumfun6669 March 25, 2023
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Mormon Shocker

A modification of the traditional “2 in the pink, 1 in the stink” shocker, the Mormon Shocker is performed by simultaneously inserting 2 fingers in the stink (usually the pinky and ring fingers), and 1 finger in the pink (usually the index finger). It is a common practice in the Mormon community where anal penetration is a preferred premarital sexual act due their religious obligation of vaginal abstinence which naturally leads to a more sexually evolved anus.
I hooked up with a nice Mormon girl last night who wouldn’t have sex with me because she’s saving herself for marriage, so we settled for sodomy. I couldn’t even fit more than one finger in her virgin vagina so I had to give her the Mormon Shocker and stick one in her pink with two in her stink!
by MChamm3r December 18, 2023
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Mormon Shocker

A modification of the traditional “2 in the pink, 1 in the stink” shocker, the Mormon Shocker is performed by simultaneously inserting 2 fingers in the stink (usually the pinky and ring fingers), and 1 finger in the pink (usually the index finger). It is a common practice in the Mormon community where anal penetration is a preferred premarital sexual act due their religious obligation of vaginal abstinence which naturally leads to a more sexually evolved anus.
I hooked up with a nice Mormon girl last night who wouldn’t have sex with me because she’s saving herself for marriage, so we settled for sodomy. I couldn’t even fit more than one finger in her virgin vagina so I had to give her the Mormon Shocker and stick one in her pink with two in her stink!
by MChamm3r December 13, 2023
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Mormon backdoor

When one has resided to oral sex until marriage with wandering digits.
I was enjoying Bambi’s exceptional oral skills, when suddenly I get the shock of a Mormon backdoor.
by MN Nut Guy March 19, 2023
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