by SweaterYamsAreMyJam September 2, 2022
Get the Painted trim in the new bedroom mug.The most amazing state in the entire U.S.A. and I don't want to hear you southerner motherfuckers talking because you all suck. First off all, NO. WHERE THE FUCK. IS. JOISEY. I HAVE NEVER HEARD SOMEONE SAY "JOISEY" BEFORE EXCEPT THESE FUCKING NEW FUCKING NEW YORKERS ON THE FUCKING TURNPIKE OR THE GS PARKWAY BETWEEN EXITS 88-94.
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. YES WE SAY TAWK. YES WE SAY CAWFEE. BUT NO WE DON'T SAY JOISEY FUCK Y'ALL BITCHES. Now to my next point, is that WE ARE THE BEST STATE. We don't spend our time saying "howdy y'all" in the most mickey-mouse sounding voice ever and growing fucking corn all day while burning to motherfucking death (yes, arizona texas and louisiana that's directed at you bitches). Wanna know why we fucking hate you? You hate us. Imagine all 49 other states just talking shit about you, like "oh florida's just a spawn of white karens and gators" or go to my profile to see the rest of my motherfucking 5178 character essay because the definition has a character limit of 1500. I promise it's up becaues I posted all the parts in the same like 10 mins and they were all finished posting by midnight september 4 2022.
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. YES WE SAY TAWK. YES WE SAY CAWFEE. BUT NO WE DON'T SAY JOISEY FUCK Y'ALL BITCHES. Now to my next point, is that WE ARE THE BEST STATE. We don't spend our time saying "howdy y'all" in the most mickey-mouse sounding voice ever and growing fucking corn all day while burning to motherfucking death (yes, arizona texas and louisiana that's directed at you bitches). Wanna know why we fucking hate you? You hate us. Imagine all 49 other states just talking shit about you, like "oh florida's just a spawn of white karens and gators" or go to my profile to see the rest of my motherfucking 5178 character essay because the definition has a character limit of 1500. I promise it's up becaues I posted all the parts in the same like 10 mins and they were all finished posting by midnight september 4 2022.
I fucking love New Jersey it's the best state we have best tomatoes best pizza best bagels best blueberries and we keep our parks in good condition. we have a weird accent but it's better than hearing "howdy y'all" every day. no we don't say joisey but we do say tawk and kawfi.
by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022
Get the New Jersey mug.part 3 of my 5178 character essay on how amazing NJ is.Yeah. It gets annoying and boring to hear so much hate about your own state which is MOSTLY EVEN NOT TRUE. We should get what we deserve. Also we have a higher amount of well-known/famous people than all of you. We have the USA Ambassador to Burkina Faso and Benin, we have the guy who designed the MLB logo, we have Tom Cruise, we have Shaquille O' Neal, we were home to FUCKING THOMAS EDISON (hence the city, Edison), we have Richard Nixon, Queen Latifah, Paul Rudd, Grover Cleveland, Frank Sinatra, Martha Stewart, Brittany Murphy, Zach Braff, Thomas Mitchell, Michelle Rodriguez, Ray Liotta, John Amos, Dennis Boutsikaris, Benjamin Burnley, Lou Costello, Buzz Aldrin, Sean Baker, Judy Blume, MERYL FUCKING STREEP, Bruce Springsteen, Whitney Houston, Bud Abbott, Charles Addams, Madeleine Brewer, Emma Jean Bell, Kevin Spacey, Victor Cruz, Patrick Warburton, Michael Douglass, Loretta Swit, Jon Bon Jovi, Bruce Willis, Kiersten Dunst, Count Basie, Flamingo (the child roblox youtuber), Cristin Milioti, Frankie Vallie, Conni Francis, Dionne Warwick, Ali Larter, Carli Lloyd, Halsey, Chris Carrino, Max Ehrich, ALBERT FUCKING EINSTEIN (one of the smartest and well/widely-known physicians or even people in the world), THE FUCKING JONAS BROTHERS, and a lot more which I can't say in this part because of the character limit go to my profile for part 4 i promise it's up these were all posted in the same 10 mins.
by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022
Get the New Jersey - Part 3 mug.Part 4 of my 5178 character essay on how amazing NJ is. We left off with the Jonas Brothers in our list of amazing famous people from NJ. We continue withDavid Copperfield, Donald Fagen, Jesse Eisenberg, Jim Miller, Dennis Rodman, Antonin Scallia, Amy Locane, E.J. Barthel, Vini Lopez, Bill Moyers, Anthony Stolarz, Allen Ginsburg, Gaetano Bresci, Larry Doby, Malcolm Forbes, Bruce Vilanch, THE HAPPY FITS (my second-favorite band), Katherine Renee Shindle, Lauren Schmetterling, Julie Anne Robbenhymer, Jessie Paege, Mark Blum, Cissy Houston, Gary Lewis, THE LIST. GOES. FUCKING. ON. We know what REAL pizza is, what a REAL bagel is, what a REAL TOMATO is. No, California doesn't have good tomatoes. Californian tomatoes are FUCKING BULLSHIT. Y'ALL'S TOMATOES ARE BULLSHIT. Y'ALL'S BAGELS.. THEY'RE FUCKING BULLSHIT. YOUR PIZZA?! I'll spell it out. B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. Except for our next door neighbor New York, you have good pizza. We'll give you that. Go to my profile for part 5 i promise it's up these were all posted in the same like 10 mins.
by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022
Get the New Jersey - Part 4 mug.Here's Part 5 of my 5178 character essay on how amazing NJ is. Go to my profile for previous. And you know what we made? CAMPBELLS'. FUCKING. SOUP. CAMPBELLS IS ARGUABLY THE BEST SOUP COMPANY IN THE ENTIRE NATION AND YOU KNOW THAT. We also have Wawas but I'm not sure if they're actually FROM NJ they might be a Pennsylvania or Connecticut thing. I'll go look it up. Yeah they're from PA but still we have a lot of wawas while you californians don't. And yes, we're the most dense. We're also in the top half of populous states (I think). If you live here you can go out to New York with your friends for your occasional good time. (However, the traffic on the turnpike can get big. Also always remember to take the HOLLAND tunnel. Lincoln tunnel sucks and it's irrelevant.) Despite having to pay a ridiculous toll fee, it's worth it. We've got one of the most dense cities in the US (Jersey City). Go to my profile for the last part part 6 it's up because i posted them all in the same 10 mins (i wrote the entire essay at once but then realized i couldn't post it so broke it up into parts after)
by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022
Get the New Jersey - Part 5 mug.Last part, part 6 of how amazing NJ is which I can't put all in 1 part because of the character limit.I feel like you're about to say "Oh this guy talks so much about jersey" Yes. I talk about Jersey. I FUCKING LOVE JERSEY. IT'S MY STATE. Our state motto would be "Unwarranted Confidence, Unlimited Attitude." WE LOVE OUR STATE. WE ARE PROUD LITTLE MOTHERFUCKERS AND WE WILL STAY LIKE THAT. Also yes we have very amazing school system, better than something like Alabama's or Idaho's, we keep our state not smelly (granted, part of the GS parkway can get smelly but that space takes up like 5% of the state, which is not much.) Also yes Toyota is pretty much the only car you see. We have a very high Asian Population (That includes countries that aren't china btw) and we probably have at least 90% of all the emo kids in the country.
I have a lot more to say about our amazing state but I'm getting tired of typing and I've spent like almost an hour on this shit, so bye bitches i might make a continuation with parts 7-12 sometime if I get really bored but don't expect me to.
I have a lot more to say about our amazing state but I'm getting tired of typing and I've spent like almost an hour on this shit, so bye bitches i might make a continuation with parts 7-12 sometime if I get really bored but don't expect me to.
by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022
Get the New Jersey - Part 6 mug.A big POS tractor made by some stupid idiots and its blue so don't get a blue tractor unless your names rodney or you have no brain.
What tractor do you have a john deere
How bout you a new holland
Oh fuck off cunt get real nd buy a better tractor
How bout you a new holland
Oh fuck off cunt get real nd buy a better tractor
by grapelookingslut September 7, 2022
Get the New holland mug.