Q: "Are you coming out
with the lads tonight?"
A: "I don't think so, mate. I'm just gonna stay in and get myself a Harrison."
"I had myself a quality Harrison last night!"
"So the missus dropped to her knees and pulled out my plonker, but I was like "Oi, cunt! Get me a beer first and meet me at the sofa so I can get myself a proper Harrison, like I deserve."
"Man, I had a great night last night."
"Really? What happened?"
"I was sitting on the sofa drinking a beer and my ho just comes along, whips out the one-eyed
trouser snake, and starts chomping away!"
"Oh, you got yourself a Harrison!"
"Did I?"
"Yes"
"Buddy, if you engage in
competition X, where you will have at least a 99% chance of winning, I will give you $5,000."
"
What the fuck do I want $5,000 for? I just want to sit on the sofa, drink a beer, and get a blowie."
"I think you have problem. You are addicted to getting Harrison's."
"I know! I know! I know! I need help."
"The wife had to be taken into hospital."
"Oh dear. Why?"
"I knocked out all her teeth and broke her jaw."
"Fuck me."
"I know. Well, she has been giving me 3 Harrison's a day for 2 years, so I guess it's not surprising."