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couch shaman

Person who shows up and gets in cool with people for sounding very wise. He never has any money because he's eschewed all concepts of ownership or slavery to materialism. He will sleep on your couch for as long as you let him, eat your food, drink your booze, bum cigarettes off of everyone, smoke your weed, and probably try to fuck you or your partner, if you're not around, depending on what he's into. In return for all of these things, he will grace you with the endless font of wisdom that pours from his mouth when he's stoned/well-fed/drunk/sexually sated.
Man, I know that couch shaman sounds like a cool guy, but he ate all my chips while I was at work and walked in "accidentally" on my girl in the shower; he's gotta GO.
by Accedendum June 4, 2018
mugGet the couch shamanmug.

Couch Awareness

Simply being conscious of your current status of sleeping on a couch.
Jimmy flew in from college and was staying at his parent's house. The fact that he folded his blankets and put on a pot of coffee in the morning showed great "couch awareness" on his part.

or,

Jenny kicked Tom out of bed and his couch awareness made it hard for him to get some sleep.

and

Johnny passed out again while playing Halo, but thanks to his keen "couch awareness" he was able to get up and perform an EMRT (early morning rack transfer).
by Blue Tipton January 3, 2009
mugGet the Couch Awarenessmug.

Couch ass

When a girl looks like she’s been sitting on the couch for to long and her ass looks bloated
That girl really has a couch ass. That thing looks bloated
by Nordic42 May 25, 2020
mugGet the Couch assmug.

Couch Chowder

A crude seminal discharge, created by Colorado Frat boy after he prematurely ejaculates to someone's daughter.
A Transcendental Meditation sacrament.
Those frat boys are pigs, he left a whole load of couch chowder on my furnature.
by pornstitute August 7, 2023
mugGet the Couch Chowdermug.

Couch crevice

A: The tiny section of the couch available on a regular basis because someone less deserving with much more free time on their hands has spread their unshowered gelatinous ass meat and back rolls and accompanying snacks, ashtray, Blaney, marijuana rolling tray, one dirty sock food stamp card, book they're not reading, pillow they took out of your room that now smells like their armpit, open highlighter, loose change, snot filled napkin, cell phone and rapid charger with cord that they swear they bought, and list of "Things To Do," all of which when shoved over toward the aromatic eyesore yields a sliver section on the furniture that you paid for available to you called a Couch Crevice. There is another version of Couch Crevice which ....
B: describes the friendly homeless meth-whores randomly deposited in the living room by roommates that have already enjoyed their company and were thoughtful enough to leave them behind to entertain others and steal things.
A; "Dude, suck in some of your funk and sweep off enough Doritos so I can squeeze my ass cheeks into a Couch Crevice and watch this educational program with you."

B: "Dude, who's the new Couch Crevice and when do I get to dip into Her? She's kinda hot for missing so many teeth."
by Mikey Mutha Fuckn Mosier March 16, 2017
mugGet the Couch crevicemug.

couch bussy

similar to a normal bussy, a couch bussy is a lazy, alcohol addicted femboy that has doritos, redbull and xbox 360 controllers on stand by as well as a bussy that smells like tony hawk's panties from 2003.
Yo i just bust a fat nut in a couch bussy the other day and now my dick smells like doritos
by TheFreshPrinceofToronto August 13, 2021
mugGet the couch bussymug.

COUCH TOMATO

A very sexy female television viewer;a sexy female couch potato;a "tomato" seated on a love seat or a divan or a hide-a-bed.
Dam,Wilbur! Will you take a look at Daisy Mae,watchin`television? At 38-22-36,shezza reel`COUCH TOMATO,ain`t she?
by SIDNEY GOLDSMITH November 27, 2003
mugGet the COUCH TOMATOmug.

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