Low Intensity Walmart

The time between 8am-10am (aka Sensory-Friendly Hours) when shopping at Walmart is a pleasant experience because the TVs and store radio are off. The customers are less noisy and you're less likely to have to dodge carts and mouthbreathers.

Woahh...Looks like we woke up early. Want to go to Low Intensity Walmart?

Yeah, it is the only time I will go now

by __naux__ November 19, 2024

WALMART DUMPSTER FIRE

A blanket description of ANYTHING so messed up that people will instantly know where you are going with it before you get there.

"Did you see that thing with the muffin top & the Tammy Faye Bakker makeup?"
"Yeah, she, I mean it, was quite the WALMART DUMPSTER FIRE!!"

by BIGGEDD666 October 6, 2021

Walmart

A place where you can get a rifle, ammo, a bandana or ski mask, a pair of grillz, and a crowbar, but you cannot get a quality rap CD.

Im not saying walmart is for cheapskates, but walmart is for cheapskates.

by ɯ August 29, 2018

Walmart Socks

Socks on a Walmart mannequin that have been removed, drowned in nut, and placed back on the mannequin to solidify.

Dude 1: "Dude, I just found some RANCID Walmart socks."
Dude 2: "Ohhhh yeah my bad Dude that was me."

by ILoveBigBlackOilyMen February 18, 2025

I sexually identify as a walmart bag

"I sexually identify as a Walmart bag" is a humorous phrase used to describe someone who feels a deep sense of identity and connection with the crumpled, discarded, and often-misunderstood existence of a Walmart bag. It's a tongue-in-cheek way of poking fun at the complexities of modern identity politics and the tendency to label oneself with unusual and unconventional descriptors. In essence, it's a lighthearted joke that playfully mocks the idea of identifying with an inanimate object, while also acknowledging the absurdity and humor in doing so.

- Nice to meet you. May I ask for your pronouns?
- I sexually identify as a walmart bag.
- Uhm, can I just call you they/them?
- I IDENTIFY AS A WALMART BAG. THAT'S REALLY OFFENSIVE TO ME. I'M Walmart/Bag, NOT They/Them!!!!!!!!!!!

by Narmak2 April 23, 2024

Walmart car

A Walmart car is an old, piece of shit minivan made in the early 2000’s than is primarily used for running errands. An ideal Walmart car is a Pontiac Montana or a Ford Freestar

“Hey honey I have some errands to run, I’m taking the Walmart car”

by Yinzerman73 May 29, 2023

boolin like a straight white asian alien walmart employee

when youre running around the mall and shitting everywhere but cant control the stream that is coming out of dat booty. but then it stops and you get abducted by chinese dragons. and then the dragons buy you stomach juice at walmart.

guy1 - what did you do last night?
guy2 - i was just boolin like a straight white asian alien walmart employee

by booty42069 April 24, 2018