A Christian is a type of revolving magnetic hold-all used for the transportation of bees in certain parts of Belgrade and all British counties beginning with S. The first Christians were made of tiny metallic hooks which were mined by zebras and stitched together by drunken daleks in a big wobbly igloo on the moon. Christians have a relative density of three-and-a-bit and the atomic number twelvety.
by Snookyplops July 11, 2007
Get the christiansmug. by christian the best hall October 17, 2008
Get the christianmug. Christianity is a monotheisic religion that originated from Judaism. There are many denomiations of Christianity and every one of them is different. You have the up-tight Baptists, The guilt-ridden Catholics, the laid-back Methodists, and the very loose Episcopals (my denomiation). It is pretty ignorant to say that all Christians are close-minded and/or hateful. This is untrue for true christians are accepting and try to be loving like Christ.
Examples of the denominations of christianity:
Baptist Prayer-"Lord Almighty, I have sinned badly and please spare me from eternal damnation!"
Catholic Prayer-"Our Mother of Perpetual Sorrow, I am a terrible sinful person, I know i deserve to burn for stealing my neighbor's garden gnome, Please Forgive Me!"
Methodist Prayer-"Well, Let's see here, I sinned pretty bad so how about we just forget about it and star off new."
Episcopal Prayer-"Oh yeah, I'm sorry i passed out on the street after winning the tequila contest. Also, I think I should add a MY BAD for punching George in my drunken rage but George was annoying the hell out of me"
Baptist Prayer-"Lord Almighty, I have sinned badly and please spare me from eternal damnation!"
Catholic Prayer-"Our Mother of Perpetual Sorrow, I am a terrible sinful person, I know i deserve to burn for stealing my neighbor's garden gnome, Please Forgive Me!"
Methodist Prayer-"Well, Let's see here, I sinned pretty bad so how about we just forget about it and star off new."
Episcopal Prayer-"Oh yeah, I'm sorry i passed out on the street after winning the tequila contest. Also, I think I should add a MY BAD for punching George in my drunken rage but George was annoying the hell out of me"
by Jadali April 26, 2008
Get the christianitymug. Popular to contrary belief, christianity is not a religion, rather a relationship. Many people like to harass christians and the belief itself, but usually its the people who are to ignorant to think that maybe humans didn't just explode into existence out of nothing.
Its based around the principle that God sent his PERFECT son Jesus (which there are 3 entities of the one God: God the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit) to die for the world which is sinful. The idea is that you have free will, so you choose if you want God in your life.
Masses of people think that Christianity caused all these wars and man-made chaotic genocides, but most of the time, Muslims have had done most of the dirty work.
The free will part is what makes the most sense because you don't HAVE to become a christian, its a choice and no one has anything to lose. God is all love, and everything happens for a reason, pain and suffering only build your character.
Its based around the principle that God sent his PERFECT son Jesus (which there are 3 entities of the one God: God the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit) to die for the world which is sinful. The idea is that you have free will, so you choose if you want God in your life.
Masses of people think that Christianity caused all these wars and man-made chaotic genocides, but most of the time, Muslims have had done most of the dirty work.
The free will part is what makes the most sense because you don't HAVE to become a christian, its a choice and no one has anything to lose. God is all love, and everything happens for a reason, pain and suffering only build your character.
God Bless you all! he loves you, you know... christianity is a choice. But for some reason people of the past give it a bad reputation. I know that its been FRAMED!
by Jerry bombiddly August 6, 2011
Get the Christianitymug. A religion that caused the crusades, the age of scientific oppression, homophobia, creationism and plenty of genocides.
The bible contains some rediculous rules:
1. You can't be gay
2. You can't have long hair
3. A woman must serve her husband (i.e a woman is inferior to a man)
4. A woman can't lead
5. Loads more
It's a religion based on fear. Disobey it and you go to hell. It also created creationism, the theory of Noah's ark, both of which have been disproven time and time again yet there's so many idiots following it that they cling to their rediculous beliefs. And it fails to mention that homosexuality is genetic and not a choice.
Don't get me wrong, most Christians are good people but the religion is deeply flawed.
The bible contains some rediculous rules:
1. You can't be gay
2. You can't have long hair
3. A woman must serve her husband (i.e a woman is inferior to a man)
4. A woman can't lead
5. Loads more
It's a religion based on fear. Disobey it and you go to hell. It also created creationism, the theory of Noah's ark, both of which have been disproven time and time again yet there's so many idiots following it that they cling to their rediculous beliefs. And it fails to mention that homosexuality is genetic and not a choice.
Don't get me wrong, most Christians are good people but the religion is deeply flawed.
Redneck: Stupid fags ur goin to hell! Follow God or go to hell! Don't vote for Hillary or go to hell! Cut your hair or go to hell! Believe in creationism or go to hell! Follow Christianity or go to hell! Now let's go kill some fuckin' queers and lynch a nigga before we go and blow up the abortion clynic!
Good Christian: 1. Thou shalt not swear 2. Thou shall not kill 3. Respect and love your neighbour
Redneck: (struggles not to shout out he is just a violent ignorant person who needs to vent out his natural anger at everything) Err...Ermmm...Fuck u ur goin ta hayelll!!!
Good Christian: 1. Thou shalt not swear 2. Thou shall not kill 3. Respect and love your neighbour
Redneck: (struggles not to shout out he is just a violent ignorant person who needs to vent out his natural anger at everything) Err...Ermmm...Fuck u ur goin ta hayelll!!!
by Fat Fee June 24, 2010
Get the Christianitymug. The belief that a cosmic jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you systematically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat a magic apple.
by Mr. Barker October 27, 2007
Get the Christianitymug. Someone with meaning in their lives. Someone who can feel God's presence, and know without proof that he exists everywhere. Someone who realizes that Evolution is just a theory, and has many more flaws than Christianity. Someone who knows that God sent his son to die for his creations, and yet those creations torment and refuse to beleive he even exists, and takes no pleasure in sending his people to hell. To those who say Christians are stupid, realize that real christians will help everyone they can, and be willign to give up all they have. A christian is somebody who realizes that a little faith can go a long way. Someone who fears God so they don't have to fear anything in life. a complete person. A Christian embodies love. A person who does not hate, no matter what.
Homeless person: sir, do you have any money to spare
Christian: No.. you need not money, you need food. Here, follow me to the nearest restaurant and buy whatever you like, on me.
Christian: No.. you need not money, you need food. Here, follow me to the nearest restaurant and buy whatever you like, on me.
by Dave prot January 2, 2008
Get the christianmug.