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Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter

The sexual act in which a man puts 2 eggs in between a woman's breasts(while laying in bed) and then sit on them for a solid 2 - 5 hours with a heating lamp near by and the room temperature very high. Then when he gets up, they should be hot, goey, and sticky. He will then proceed to use this as lube for violent sex afterwards. Then, with some of the eggshells, he will proceed to scrape her nipples until they are a bloody pulp.
Me: Dude, im so nervous...
Friend: Whys that?
Me: Sally wants me to do a Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter....I don't think I can sit still for that long!
Friend: Don't worry you'll be fine bro!!
by Shank0potomis August 1, 2012
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Humpty Trumpty Dumpty

The phrase referred to Donald is specific and in general, someone who's too conceited to see he/she is/will be the cause of his/her own downfall.
Humpty Trumpty Dumpty's unaware rotten do smell.
Meeting with Russia officials, he gave classified intel.
Trumpty said he can share classified information.
Trumpty’s clueless he’s tearing down our nation.
by spen53 May 14, 2018
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Humpty Dumpty

When a someone is humping someone from the behind, and then carefully proceeds to take just the biggest dump on them. And I mean Taco Bell levels of crap, straight on the body. This could be intentional, but is usually accidental
Dude, how was sex last night?

Bro, I totally gave her the Humpty Dumpty last night!
That was totally sick!
by Gayvid2006 January 11, 2022
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Humpty Dumpty

When you are hovering your ass over the toilet and the shit hits the lid of the toilet before sliding into it
Person 1: Hey man I was taking a crap at the office today and I made a Humpty Dumpty

Person 2: That sucks, Did you clean up the smear?

Person 1: No I left it, I'm not touching that shit
by BirdKibble July 25, 2022
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