A hand in the bush is better than two birds. 

A logical reversal of the old saying, " a bird in hand is better than two in a bush. Because people dont chase birds much anymore and a hand in the bush is much better.

Hey dude, a hand in the bush is better than two birds.

A hand in the bush is better than two birds. by rockinray October 21, 2012

a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush 

This expression shows the benefits of masterbation over intercourse by saying a bird (your penis) is better in your hand than having both your penises in a bush (vagina).

Women are sometimes not worth the hassle, headache or monitary cost to keep around, despite giving you sex.

Rob: Y'know, Greg, my girlfriend wanted another $20 from me this morning.

Greg: Oh yeah? What for?

Rob: I don't know, she wouldn't tell me. I bet she's cheating on me.

Greg: Why do you think that?

Rob: Well she borrows money from me all the time, and I'm stupid and jump to conclusions.

Greg: Well, my dad always told me that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Rob: You're right.

/corny story

a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush by Joseph and friends. August 1, 2008

a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush 

what you may decide while contemplating your cock rubbing up against some other dude's cock if you were to participate in a 3some with a chick and said dude.

He had his eye on that girl all semester, until she finally invited him to a 3some. At that point he quickly lost interest, deciding that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush by Turttlemugger December 16, 2008

A load in the hand is worth two in the bush 

Pulling out and missing is better then having a bunch of bastard children.

Person A "don't worry buddy, you may look like an ass, but remember: "A load in the hand is worth two in the bush"

Parson B "True dat"

A load in the hand is worth two in the bush by TheKevinTaylor June 19, 2009

One in the hand is worth two in the bush

A solo wank is better than two shags

Do you fancy a shag my lovely? Erm to be honest ' I'm going home to sort myself out ... You know what they say ... One in the hand is worth two in the bush'

One in the hand is worth two in the bush by Wutanglou December 13, 2015

tawni twohands 

One whose experience in skiing translates to jerking off multiple cocks at the same time.

On the bus ride home tawni twohands would always sit in the middle of the seat and jerk two cocks tremendously.

tawni twohands by Fishingperson1 May 28, 2021