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couch magnet

(kow-che mag-net) n. Normally a male humanoid whose ass attracts nearby couches. Both the couch and ass will form a near unbreakable bond only separated by getting beers from the fridge, using the restroom, or women. The attraction from ass to couch may vary depending on nearby televisions or video game systems.
guy1: "where are you going?"

guy2: "dude, dont look now but there is a fine leather couch in front of a huge flat screen at 10 o'clock"

guy1 & guy2: "wwaaaaaooohhhhhh"

guy1: "this is a real comfy couch"

guy2: "I know right? its good to be a couch magnet"
by glassfungus February 5, 2010
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couch taco

À pussy, vagina, or small cavern
I was knee deep in that couch taco
by burritoslocos April 22, 2015
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Couch Coach

Someone who is at home watching a sport event (such as football etc.) on television at home and thinks that they know how to play the sport better than those that are actually competing. This leads to unnecessary yelling of comments towards the screen, which the athletes can not hear anyway.
A couch coach can be any sort of television sport spectator, but is often someone that lacks any real sporting ability.
Derived from the television environment (couch) and the constant yelling similar to that of a coach. Also just a fun spin on the classic "couch potato".
*PASS THE BALL! COME ON! PASS THE BALL!*

Come on dude, quit being such a couch coach.
by CJ Moose July 11, 2014
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Couch fruit

A person with low sexual morals, perhaps a porn star, corner hooker, or that really slutty partner you had.
"Yooooo, Jon, check out that couch fruit over there"
"Ya, what whore, they are always on the corner"

"Hey Fred, check out this video I found on Pornhub! She is such a couch fruit!!"
by Oh nooes May 3, 2019
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Couch locked

When the couch commands you to stay in a soft gentle smoothing voice. The inability to leave the safety of the couch because the world beyond is just not safe.
My girlfriend has become couch locked after eating an entire willie wonky edible and is now crying and laughing at the same time in a fetal position refusing to leave the safety of the couch after 3 hours.
by drew a button December 12, 2020
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half couch

Someone with a nice face, but an ugly body; typically refers to the standard funerary practice of leaving only the top portion of the casket open.
"Check out that half couch!"
"Who?"
"Half couch! Like body bad or carface. He has a face, but look at has body. He has no shoulders and that weird skinny person belly flab. If he was dead, you'd only want the top of the casket open, so he's a half couch."
by HazyKushen May 18, 2016
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Purple Couch

An image of interest/funny to you, but you want to hide what it is.
Found this purple couch. Wanna look at it?
by Monopolyman64 May 18, 2016
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