by bye313 October 13, 2021
When, rather than watching pornography or having sex, you spend that time to spreading stochastic terrorism and misinformation to journalists in order to further your religious beliefs.
by Sootyjared June 16, 2022
Hym "I mean, the sales pitch is 'we've helped men get off their phones' but.... Jordan... YOU ARE THE PHONE. If you care so much about how much time people are spending on their phones.... Why don't you just leave!? That's 6 million people you can help get off their phones in one fell swoop! AND they won't have have to pay the exodus 90 people. You save them money and get them off their phone. I mean... Yeah. Just leave the retard sex cult if you don't like what they're doing. Ooooh right the shit you say is for the "not yous." Where's Ye at dawg? I thought you were going to have him on... er... Ye I mean. Not ME Hym but Ye him."
by Hym Iam January 26, 2023
Moses 😨 "Oh man..."
Woman 😭 "My baby! MY BABY!"
Moses "Oh jeez..."
Pharoah 😰 "How could this have happened?"
Moses "Pharoah I... I'm sorry I... I need those those slaves..."
Pharoah 😔 "Fine... Take them..."
Moses "Oo... Yeah... And I need some cows..."
Pharoah "HAVEN'T YOU TAKEN ENOUGH!?"
Moses "Yeah, I... He was pretty adamant about the cows..."
Pharoah "Fine... Just leave..."
Moses "Yeah... I'm gonna grab my magic stick-snake I don't know if that's import-"
Pharoah "GET OUT!"
Moses *Grabs snake and scurries off*
Exodus IV
Woman 😭 "My baby! MY BABY!"
Moses "Oh jeez..."
Pharoah 😰 "How could this have happened?"
Moses "Pharoah I... I'm sorry I... I need those those slaves..."
Pharoah 😔 "Fine... Take them..."
Moses "Oo... Yeah... And I need some cows..."
Pharoah "HAVEN'T YOU TAKEN ENOUGH!?"
Moses "Yeah, I... He was pretty adamant about the cows..."
Pharoah "Fine... Just leave..."
Moses "Yeah... I'm gonna grab my magic stick-snake I don't know if that's import-"
Pharoah "GET OUT!"
Moses *Grabs snake and scurries off*
Exodus IV
by Hym Iam October 25, 2023
The second book of The Bible. It narrates the story of the Exodus, in which the Israelites leave slavery in Biblical Egypt through the strength of Yahweh, who has chosen them as his people. You can read the Wikipedia article if you want to learn more.
A 70s thrash metal band formed in Richmond, California by Kirk Hammett of Metallica. The current line-up consists of Gary Holt and Lee Altus (guitars), Jack Gibson (bass), Tom Hunting (drums), and Steve "Zetro" Souza (vocals).
A 70s thrash metal band formed in Richmond, California by Kirk Hammett of Metallica. The current line-up consists of Gary Holt and Lee Altus (guitars), Jack Gibson (bass), Tom Hunting (drums), and Steve "Zetro" Souza (vocals).
"Exodus rocks!!"
by the wangjangler March 22, 2023
Yeah, no I'm gonna do an exodus one.
God "Hey! Hi! Moses!"
Moses "Um... Yes? Can I help you?"
God "Yeah, actually. I need you do to me favor."
Moses "Who... Exactly are you?"
God "Oh! Oh, right. Yeah, I'm the guy. I made all the stuff. What are you calling me nowadays? Elohim? Ha! I'm asking but... Well... You know."
Moses "OH! Oh! That- I... Yes! Yes, what can I do for you, lord? Anything!"
God "Yeah, hey, go tell Pharoah to give me all the Jew-slaves... Make him give me the Jew-slaves.... And those cows. I want the cows too."
Moses 😨 "Wh... What? How? I can't..."
God "No... You can. Tell him to give me the slaves or I'm going to kill all of his kids. Or wait, no! I'm going to kill all of the kids not just his- NO WAIT! Even better! The first born sons of every man and woman in Egypt! THAT'S who I'm going to kill. All the first born sons."
Moses 😱 "I can't tell him that! He's going to kill me! Why would he even believe me!? Why can't YOU just tell him!?"
God "Hey! Hi! Moses!"
Moses "Um... Yes? Can I help you?"
God "Yeah, actually. I need you do to me favor."
Moses "Who... Exactly are you?"
God "Oh! Oh, right. Yeah, I'm the guy. I made all the stuff. What are you calling me nowadays? Elohim? Ha! I'm asking but... Well... You know."
Moses "OH! Oh! That- I... Yes! Yes, what can I do for you, lord? Anything!"
God "Yeah, hey, go tell Pharoah to give me all the Jew-slaves... Make him give me the Jew-slaves.... And those cows. I want the cows too."
Moses 😨 "Wh... What? How? I can't..."
God "No... You can. Tell him to give me the slaves or I'm going to kill all of his kids. Or wait, no! I'm going to kill all of the kids not just his- NO WAIT! Even better! The first born sons of every man and woman in Egypt! THAT'S who I'm going to kill. All the first born sons."
Moses 😱 "I can't tell him that! He's going to kill me! Why would he even believe me!? Why can't YOU just tell him!?"
God "No... No, I don't really feel like it. I want you to do it... So... You're doing it. Hey, and tell him about the frogs. But no, you're fine. Go tell him the thing. Here- Go, take this magic stick."
*Hands Moses stick*
Moses "Um... Frogs?"
God "He's not going to want to do it so I'm gonna make it rain frogs.... And crickets... And I'm going to turn all the water into blood... And, like, 7 other things... Gonna do a bunch of stuff..."
Moses 😨
God "..... Oh, damn it. Is the times broken? Did I... Hold on a second- Er... Heheheh... Nevermind. Hmm... No... The times is on.... Huh... So... You're just standing there I don't understand what's happening right now."
Moses 😨
God "Okay... Go do the thing. I don't think I could have been any more clear about this. Times is on so why-uh... Are you not doing the thing?"
Moses 😨 *Walks off*
God 😮 💨 "I gotta get a better handle on this 'times' thing man... Is it moving? Is it not? I can't tell the fucking difference... 😮 💨 Yep... Yepyepyep... HEY! DON'T FORGET THE COWS!"
EXODUS
*Hands Moses stick*
Moses "Um... Frogs?"
God "He's not going to want to do it so I'm gonna make it rain frogs.... And crickets... And I'm going to turn all the water into blood... And, like, 7 other things... Gonna do a bunch of stuff..."
Moses 😨
God "..... Oh, damn it. Is the times broken? Did I... Hold on a second- Er... Heheheh... Nevermind. Hmm... No... The times is on.... Huh... So... You're just standing there I don't understand what's happening right now."
Moses 😨
God "Okay... Go do the thing. I don't think I could have been any more clear about this. Times is on so why-uh... Are you not doing the thing?"
Moses 😨 *Walks off*
God 😮 💨 "I gotta get a better handle on this 'times' thing man... Is it moving? Is it not? I can't tell the fucking difference... 😮 💨 Yep... Yepyepyep... HEY! DON'T FORGET THE COWS!"
EXODUS
by Hym Iam October 25, 2023
God 😠
Moses "Um... I... He said..."
God "No, I know what he said! You forgot the COWS! THE COWS, MOSES! I KNEW you'd forget the cows! Me-Damnit!"
Moses "I'm sorry I..."
God "Yeah, I'm doing the thing. Frogs, blood, all of it. The cows were the most important part, Moses!"
Moses "More important than the slaves?"
God "YES! I need those cows Moses!"
Moses "What? Why? You're Elohim! You don't need cows! You made the cows!"
God "No, I- Those are the good cows, Moses. I want THOSE cows though. He needs to give them to me."
Moses 😨 "Are you..."
God "Yeah I'm doing the thing. Go! Go back! Get me those cows! The kids should be dead by now so... Go! Cows! DON'T FORGET!"
Moses 😨 *Walks off*
Exodus III
Moses "Um... I... He said..."
God "No, I know what he said! You forgot the COWS! THE COWS, MOSES! I KNEW you'd forget the cows! Me-Damnit!"
Moses "I'm sorry I..."
God "Yeah, I'm doing the thing. Frogs, blood, all of it. The cows were the most important part, Moses!"
Moses "More important than the slaves?"
God "YES! I need those cows Moses!"
Moses "What? Why? You're Elohim! You don't need cows! You made the cows!"
God "No, I- Those are the good cows, Moses. I want THOSE cows though. He needs to give them to me."
Moses 😨 "Are you..."
God "Yeah I'm doing the thing. Go! Go back! Get me those cows! The kids should be dead by now so... Go! Cows! DON'T FORGET!"
Moses 😨 *Walks off*
Exodus III
by Hym Iam October 25, 2023