I wish I was Jared, 19

This phrase can be seen in the comment section of outrageous or otherwise shocking posts to express disturbance, confusion, or surprise. It refers to the popular vine “My name is Jared, I’m 19, and I never learned how to fucking read”

*A tweet vividly describing someones sexual fantasy involving feet, motor oil, 13 male strippers, toothpaste, used toilet paper, and a bidet*

Comment section:
“Man, I wish I was Jared, 19”

by Seen_too_much June 7, 2024

i wish a bitch would

hoping someone will carry out with what they're claiming to do (female)

Shanice said she was gonna clomp my head yesterday, i wish a bitch would

by Chpvlie December 19, 2023

Wishing Well of Doom

A woman who has a very deep vagina that you 'wish' you hadn't gone down. Usually smells of unholy rotting fish. Common occurrence after this experience is never to park that car there again.

Commonly referred to as Tiffany Crawford.

Dude I fucked that girl and she was a wishing well of doom

by bitchcanthandle July 4, 2016

gear wishing

The act of trying to shift to a higher gear while driving even though you are already in your highest gear. Usually happens to 4 cylender drivers.

Passanger "why do you keep trying to shift over?"

Driver "I keep gear wishing, everyone is passing us"

by spotofmocha July 30, 2011

The Super Wish

A new birth control method by which a man crosses his eyes, fingers, and toes at the same immediately before ejaculated, rendering the sperm cells dizzy and only able to swim in circles.

Bro, condoms are the worst. Just raw dog it and give her The Super Wish. It's just as effective.

by The McHenry November 28, 2020

<.7.9.7.6.>Your Mother Sucks Dicks And Wishes She Died For Poetry<.7.9.7.6.>

<.7.9.7.6.>Your Mother Sucks Dicks And Wishes She Died For Poetry<.7.9.7.6.>

<.7.9.7.6.>Your Mother Sucks Dicks And Wishes She Died For Poetry<.7.9.7.6.>

by IPromiseToDoWhatIPromised May 23, 2025

<.7.9.7.6.>With The Back Smacks Of The Back SMacks For THe Free, In THe Back Of THe Bus Is THe SUnflower Deed, You Wish YOu Knew What It Takes TO be Me, So All Of YOu Individuals Caled Dandelions "'THe Sunflower Deed'"<.7.9.7.6.>

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<.7.9.7.6.>With The Back Smacks Of The Back SMacks For THe Free, In THe Back Of THe Bus Is THe SUnflower Deed, You Wish YOu Knew What It Takes TO be Me, So All Of YOu Individuals Caled Dandelions "'THe Sunflower Deed'"<.7.9.7.6.>

by TheGeneralGenitalsPranksterian May 10, 2025