today sponge

An awkward form of birth control that involves jamming a small, special sponge up your woman and leaving it there for several hours after sex.

What if you get knocked up?

It's okay, I'm wearing a Today sponge!

by DrZedex February 20, 2014

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Today Show

A popular TV "news" program that lasts the whole morning long (it seems like), and tries to wake me up in the morning because of all of the people screaming from Rockefeller Plaza (Center?). I personally can take only about an hour of it to catch up on the headlines, and I change the channel to Jerry Springer when that finally comes on.

I'll bet you $20.00 that Al Roker (the weather man) from the Today Show will say "And in your neck of the woods" at one point in time, of each show, when he talks about the weather.

by izcool February 9, 2008

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Is it just me, or does the music today suck ass?

I don’t know why. But I really think the new music that’s being released today sucks ass. I have a very big discography and I’m always listening to good music especially around the late 1970s and early 1980s era. I wasn’t even born then. But I always have a lack of music that’s been released in the 2000s. Especially the 2010s and 2020s. Music these days is so bad it’s absurd. I thought music was horrible back in 2004, but it ain’t nearly as shitty as today’s honk of shit. Music from 2004 actually sounds good in comparison to what they’re playing today. And I was only 13 back then. It’s a disgrace, I honestly think the new music dumbs you down, I can feel my IQ dropping when I listen to it...

Probably had something to do with Bill Clinton signing something in 1996 or something. That allowed radio stations in America to buy as much stations in a market that they could, so all the big corporations bought out all the media and destroyed the music industry. Anything that’s been released since 1996 basically has been crappier than the music that came before, if you ask me.

Is it just me, or does the music today suck ass?

by Zatarain’s Root Beer Drinker November 17, 2020