technobollox

Akin to technobabble, TechnoBollox is completely inaccurate drivel relating to technology or something of a technical nature, which is spouted by someone who either doesn't completely understand the subject they're talking about, or has heard a few key buzzwords and gone off on a spasmodic frenzy of scaremongering and sensationalisation. Quite commonly encountered in professions such as IT, Engineering, etc. People who actually understand and work with the technology being discussed can spot technobollox a mile away, and will often thwart and ridicule the perpetrator by introducing real facts to the discussion.
Sadly this doesn't prevent technophobes from being sucked in and their ignorance levels multiplied by this menace.

Person A: "Some guy at that management seminar told our CEO that BlackBerry devices can calculate next week's lottery numbers, now he wants one!"
Person B: "What?! he's talking technobollox again!"

Technophobe: "Don't install that 'Windows XP', my friend told me that it will steal all your data, kick your dog, and send your bank account details to Micro$oft!!!!!!"
IT guy: "That is complete and utter technobollox"

by Ciaran_ October 27, 2006

TechnoBoner

When a person gets so excited about technology, or nerdy stuff that they get an erection/hard-on/boner from the digital lust of new technology. Usually related to new or unreleased technology, televisions, i-phones, zunes, hard drives (thats what she said), etc. When in a public setting the term Technoboner can be shortened to "TB" in order to hide your heightened state and preserve your dignity. . . Unless you have a huge erection in which case your screwed.

I can't believe how incredible this new Zune HD is with it's touchscreen, HD output, HD radio and intuitive software. Every time i use it i totally get a Technoboner.

by That guy Kyle November 1, 2009

technodouche

A technically educated person who, because of their extensive education and high IQ, is prone to use technical jargon but has no clue how to apply technology in real life situations.

Jim: "If Microsoft Word is not flagging a clearly misspelled word, is it because there is a patch that I need to download and install?"

Jane: "No, you technodouche, it's because you're typing in all caps."

by Fannebelt April 9, 2010

Technochondriac

A person who, after using the web to research a minor ailment, convinces themeself (because so many other non-medical professionals have spoken about it with such authority in their blog) that they now have a disease of major proportion.

Becoming a hypochondriac is so much easier now with all the technology at hand!

Bill has a toothe ache, so decides to look up the symptoms online. After reading several blogs about people with the same symptoms, he realizes that it's not a toothe ache at all, but rather a full-blown brain tumor, likely in its final stages. Bill, himself, is now a full-fledged Technochondriac.

by jeansy August 2, 2010

technodouche

A person who has to buy first run tech gadgets just to get bragging rights to own one of the first. They tend to lose interest in their own purchase after the hype dies down and they are mocked because they didn't wait like the rest of us for the price to go down and all the bugs are fixed.

Person A: Joe is such a technodouche, he bought an ipad to read the newspaper.
Person B: Who the hell still reads the newspaper?

by Rev. Jules April 10, 2010

Technochocolate

1) Really good chocolate.
2) Really good techno with lightstick raves.

I totally need to get me some of that technochocolate.

by Mavhunter May 27, 2004

technocondriac

Someone who always assumes that something they have done is the cause of any technical problem that arises.

Never assumes that a bug, crash, communications outage or any other external issue could cause a problem and instead always blames ones self.

Often n00bs are technocondriacs until they gain a certain level of confidence.

n00b: Omg, I broke all of MSN!
g44k: No, the system is down again, you technocondriac.

by voiceinsideyou February 21, 2005