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Phantom Douche

The accidental injection of cold air into the rectum during anal douching. Often a result of an ill-prepared or malfunctioning douche.
My douche bag broke and I ended up having a phantom douche.
by ScoobySkeet November 29, 2016
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Douche'

dou·ché
do͞oˈSHā/
exclamation: douché

(in fencing) used as an acknowledgment of a hit to one's opponent, who happens to be a douche.
used as an acknowledgment during a discussion of a good or clever point made at one's expense (who happens to be a douche) by another person.
Walking to my car after work this evening. A group of 4 young dudes walks up to the crosswalk the same time I do. As we wait I hear them chatting among themselves. One turns to me and says "nice hair. Did ur mom fuck a smurf?". To which his buddies laugh. Without missing a beat I look at him, smile, and say "nice face. Did ur mom fuck a horse?" His buddies literally double over howling with laughter. "Douche'!!"
by ForgingGraphemes September 9, 2016
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Douche Canoe

your grade-a, classical fuck boy, typical douche who has earned the title of douche canoe
Huber, you're a fucking douche canoe! Stop looking up child pornography!
by Pv35 February 2, 2017
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Haggard Douche

Adjective - Description of homely looking loser (usually male).
Tim:”what’s up you ole haggard douche
by CloakMaster June 14, 2018
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Douche

face looks like a douche
hair style... is douche
takes a pic of his non existant abbs and posts it on fb.

should put on a shirt especially after workin out so the world doesnt smell like bo
gets highlights .... (nuff said)
Fernetti aka Douche
by Spider-man696969696969 November 7, 2010
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Douche Canoe

Synonym of "douchebag" coined by politically correct tumblrites who found using "douchebag" as an insult misogynistic, but failed to realize that it's the "douche" that connects the term with women, not "bag."
"He's totally a douchebag but I feel like using douchebag as a term to label people as jerks is insulting to women so can we call him, I dunno, a douche canoe instead? Thanks."
by G-Dale November 26, 2017
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douche dong

The act of being a douche and a dong at the same time.
Clayton was being a douche dong at the dance.
by Tappenmehard25 March 3, 2017
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