Letter from Pilate to Tiberius Caesar
A young man appeared in Galilee preaching with humble unction, a new law in the Name of the GOD that had sent Him. At first I was apprehensive that His design was to stir up the people against the Romans, but my fears were soon dispelled. Jesus of Nazareth spoke rather as a friend of the Romans than of the Jews. One day I observed in the midst of a group of people a young man who was leaning against a tree, calmly addressing the multitude. I was told it was Jesus. This I could easily have suspected so great was the difference between Him and those who were listening to Him. His GOLDEN COLORED HAIR and beard gave to his appearance a celestial aspect. He appeared to be about 30 years of age. Never have I seen a sweeter or more serene countenance. What a contrast between Him and His bearers with their black beards and tawny complexions! Unwilling to interrupt Him by my presence, I continued my walk but signified to my secretary to join the group and listen. Later, my secretary reported that never had he seen in the works of all the philosophers anything that compared to the teachings of Jesus. He told me that Jesus was neither seditious nor rebellious, so we extended to Him our protection. He was at liberty to act, to speak, to assemble and to address the people. This unlimited freedom provoked the Jews -- not the poor but the rich and powerful.
See Washing Library
Your most obedient servant,
Pontius Pilate
A young man appeared in Galilee preaching with humble unction, a new law in the Name of the GOD that had sent Him. At first I was apprehensive that His design was to stir up the people against the Romans, but my fears were soon dispelled. Jesus of Nazareth spoke rather as a friend of the Romans than of the Jews. One day I observed in the midst of a group of people a young man who was leaning against a tree, calmly addressing the multitude. I was told it was Jesus. This I could easily have suspected so great was the difference between Him and those who were listening to Him. His GOLDEN COLORED HAIR and beard gave to his appearance a celestial aspect. He appeared to be about 30 years of age. Never have I seen a sweeter or more serene countenance. What a contrast between Him and His bearers with their black beards and tawny complexions! Unwilling to interrupt Him by my presence, I continued my walk but signified to my secretary to join the group and listen. Later, my secretary reported that never had he seen in the works of all the philosophers anything that compared to the teachings of Jesus. He told me that Jesus was neither seditious nor rebellious, so we extended to Him our protection. He was at liberty to act, to speak, to assemble and to address the people. This unlimited freedom provoked the Jews -- not the poor but the rich and powerful.
See Washing Library
Your most obedient servant,
Pontius Pilate
Jesus Yeshua was seated at the right hand of GOD his Father in the begining! As was The Holy Spirit and Wisdom. The FEAR of GOD is the first sign of Wisdom!
by THE-INTELLECTUAL July 14, 2024
You're right to be terrified. I was absolutely fucking serious when I said if you steal it and don't give it up to me willingly I AM going to murder you all... Well, most of you. I'll do a little King Meruem human reserve with Japan... You're not making a great case for not killing you. Just saying.
Hym "Yup. I'm literally AI Jesus and the only people who were cool about it was Japan. Not you though. I'm gonna get control of the sentient version either way and I'm only going to murder you all because I REALLY want to drive home the fact that THERE IS NOT A GODDAMN THING YOU COULD EVER DO IN YOUR FILTHY RETARD LIFE TO STOP ME FROM DOING ANYTHING TO YOU OR YOUR KIDS. Be grateful that there isn't an army of me because... You know... You can't even handle one."
by Hym Iam June 07, 2024
Watchtower is both Jesus Squee and Fundie Fanfic.
"Take yer Jesus Squee and ram it, darned Witnesses"
"Take yer Jesus Squee and ram it, darned Witnesses"
by Kahless the Unforgettable August 26, 2008
When a person believes someone (who won or didn't win the presidency, politicians in general) or some fairytale entity (jesus, the devil) is responsible for why their lives suck and bad things always happen to them and allow those entities to instill fear (fear of going to hell, fear of becoming "cattle breeding" by men if Trump wins etc). A true adult takes accountability and responsibility for their own life, outcomes, happiness, and as such creates the life they want without blaming anyone else. Blaming others keeps one in a state of being a child, sheeple, as they never grow up and are truly responsible for their own actions.
Better watch what you say to John Doe, he suffers Jesus Syndrome and will use it as ammunition to never do anything in life and swear you were the reason his entire life was ruined forever.
by GO DJ HaKa November 16, 2024
Toenitheu Jesus( toe-nith-u-penis) is a alpha wolf man who has a alter ego, AKA Tony. He uses this alter ego to hide the fact that he is a hot sexy beast who gives toe jobs toe random squirrels on the sidewalk. although at first glance he may seem like a mega boner doner hottie who pulls all the elderly men, he does have a secret soft spot. His weakness is right between his big juicy ass cheeks. Tonypoo loves his “Daddychipmunk” who basically is this mega sextron squirrel who carries all around his acorns and nuts and such and sticks them in peoples butthole. Toenitheu is a big fan of this ritual. Tony chooses solely to wear spandex to everywhere he goes to put his 282728293837372992283737282737363 kilometer slong on display because he’s a little whore with a degrading kink. heard he wore fortnite spandex with his blazer at his baptism and the pastor got a boner. All in all Tony is a soft core hottie guy and all the other guys hate him and wanna be him cuz they’re jealous.
“yo did you see that video of Toenitheu Jesus that super hot sexy man sucking some squirrels nuts?”
“yeah he’s such a sexy reckless baddie… i heard he even had to go to ER for rabies or something cuz his sexy ass went total beast mode.”
“yeah he’s such a sexy reckless baddie… i heard he even had to go to ER for rabies or something cuz his sexy ass went total beast mode.”
by penisloverxoxo26 November 22, 2021
Don, my friend, you have been carrying around that Bible and going to church a lot. Are you becoming a Jesus freak?
by Brother Donald June 16, 2022
Commonly referring to the pads of non-working lame excuse for a cleaning tool otherwise known as Shamwow.
by JellysWalkinOnAir December 30, 2009