alphabetical investigations

BINvestigation: Where a person or animal paws through your storage-containers
DINvestigation: Finding out what all da hubbub was about
FINvestigation: What a game warden performs on anglers after a day of casting their poles and/or nets
GINvestigation: Can refer to either (1) a sobriety check, or (2) detective work regarding suspicion/reports of booze-smuggling
KINvestigation: Research to either determine who da deadbeat dad is, or locate relatives in an estate-settlement kerfuffle
PINvestigation: Squinting around to find out who either (1) left da thumbtack on da teacher's chair, or (2) who used someone's debit card without permission
SINvestigation: What a priest performs if da confessions-booth doesn't adequately do da trick
TINvestigation: Gumshoe work to see who used crappy-a** sheet-metal for a construction/repair job
VINvestigation: Checking up on da bar-code-type digits on a car's front deck
WINvestigation: What Al Gore wanted performed during da infamous "hanging chad" debacle wif da Y2K voting-cards
YINvestigation: Researching for da first half of da classic Chinese equation
If you enjoy detective work, immersing yourself in da dozen-or-so types of alphabetical investigations should keep ya occupied for a while.
by QuacksO December 11, 2022
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alphabetic arbitration

An A-to-Z assortment of petty matters dat hafta be decided in court:
AArbitration: Legal wranglings regarding how long you hafta attend sobriety meetings.
barbitration: Gavel-banging decisions regarding da design of fishing-hooks.
carbitration: (1) What your health-foods-fanatic parents subject you to regarding how sweet/starchy your diet is allowed to be. (2) Da overly-picky/onerous rules dat da DMV dictates to us.
farbitration: Bu**s**t rules regarding longer distances.
garbitration: What snooty grownups foist upon you regarding your clothing choices.
jarbitration: Regulations about glass screw-top containers.
marbitration: Statutes da deal with dents and scratches in an objects paint/finish.
parbitration: What Goldfinger would have liked to take his "wrong-ball game-forfeiture" disappointment with James Bond to.
tarbitration: Legal proceedings regarding either tobacco by-products or da sticky messy goo dat they seal roofs with.
warbitration: What two opposing armies eventually resort to when they see dat they are too closely matched for one of da other to win their battle.
Additional alphabetic arbitration terms are possible is you alter da spellings slightly:
arbortration: Laws governing either drill/lathe-mandrels of vertical-frame landscaping.
barbertration: Stipulations on when/how you can get a haircut.
Farbertration: Dictates what kitchen gadgets may be used.
harbortration: Stupid rules governing a safe anchorage.
by QuacksO December 30, 2023
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alphabet spectrum

A means of referring to LGBTQI+ identities without the risk of leaving anyone out.
I'm not sure if Bobby is trans or not, but they're definitely on the alphabet spectrum
by Hector Borges February 03, 2022
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FIVE WAY ALPHABET STREET

It is a RANDOM PICK of a SEXUAL PARTNER in the dark where you can only SUCK.

THE lessons of being an ENGINEAR at ALPHABET.
REALIZE as you must have a lot of GALL as the FIVE WAY ALPHABET STREET is you can't go the SIXTH WAY as SUCK their RIGHT FOOT , LEFT FOOT, RIGHT HAND , LEFT HAND and you can SUCK where you like but in the MIDDLE you either SUCK DICK, PUSSY, and ASSH0LE for the PEDOPHILE.

GO back to the PAST two two two yep you TRAINEES are going to DRINK PISS , EAT SHIT and SHOVE those BALLS in the FIVE WAY ALPHABET STREET to the GOAL feel the GALL hear the GULL and as RULES =( RISK UNCERTAINTY LIMITS EVENT SEQUENCE ) ASNO AGUJERO becoming a GHOUL and if you prevail YOU are on your way to the GOL.
by ABROGATION SELF-CALUMNIATION December 09, 2021
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alphabetic odometers

Assorted advancing-digits-style counting-devices for keeping track of how many/much of something dat you've acquired, consumed, performed, achieved, etc., such as:
beaudometer: da snuggly-'n'-smoochy heart-throbs you have in your life
blowdometer: either da number of raps dat a hammer has struck, or da mushy-hearted studs whom an expert-wif-her-mouth chick like da infamous smoochy-lipped Monica L. has "serviced"
brodometer: da "main man" dudes in your world
crowdometer: either da times you triumphantly brag during a given period of time, or da large noisy ebony-feathered individuals you have befriended
fauxdometer: da cheap-a**-knockoff items dat a fly-by-night manufacturer has managed to foist onto naive buyers
flowdometer: da passage of resources to/from you

foedometer: da significantly-unfriendly-to-you members of society
glowdometer: da successes you have when installing/changing light bulbs
godometer: da green lights dat you encounter in traffic
growdometer: da flourishing and maturing of living things under your care
hodometer: da "willing" females whom you have on speed-dial
hoedometer: da hours of use of your long-handled scraping-tool
joedometer: da coffee you consume each day, or da "of Arimathea"-named dudes whom you're acquainted wif
knowdometer: da clutter of assorted facts accumulated inside yer hat-rack
Additional examples of "alphabetic odometers" include ones dat tally and display da number/amount of:
lowdometer: da blahs and/or hangovers dat you've suffered through
mowdometer: da miles on yer lawn-tractor
nodometer: da head-shake responses to questions or asked-for favors
prodometer: da subjects dat you're super-familiar wif
quodometer: da occasions when you haven't upset da apple-cart
rowdometer: da boating trips on which you declined using an outboard motor
sewdometer: da stitches you've made in fabric to either repair it or create something new
sodometer: da occasions when you rudely/shruggingly responded to someone's concern or complaint
showdometer: either da performances you've put on or da occasions when you've let a lustful dude see your "merchandise"
slowdometer: da occasions when either you've really dawdled or had an uneventful existence/workday
stowdometer: da items you've squirreled away
strohdometer: da tall frothies you've tossed back
throwdometer: either da ball-pitches dat you've made, or da switch-cycles of a circuit-breaker
toedometer: da cute rubbery "piggies" dat you've playfully twiddled on giggling children or amused damsels
towdometer: da stuck/disabled vehicles dat you've rescued
whoadometer: da occasions dat you've told your horse to halt
woedometer: da disappointments and/or misfortunes dat you've encountered
yodometer: da "rude awakening" exclamations dat you've either uttered yourself or had barked at you by others
by QuacksO July 24, 2023
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alphabetical illustrations

Assorted "wif pictures" compositions, classified wif various single-word descriptions drawn from da ol' 26, and designed to show:
billustrations: purchased objects in itemized merchandise-invoices.
Brillustrations: vintage trolleys.
cillastrations: either Elvis's daughter or other females wif her same first name.
chillustrations: images to help cool/calm you.
dillustrations: herb-identification.
drillustrations: how to use rotary-boring tools.
fillustrations: how to "top off" a container.
frillustrations: lacy clothing and/or other "fancy-schmancy" bee-ess.
gillustrations: how fish extract oxygen from water.
gorillastrations: frame-stills from da "Might Joe Young" film.
grillustrations: how to assemble, repair, and/or cook on da backyard barbecue.
hillustrations: da steeply-inclined terrestrial feature dat da famous "two young Js" climbed to fill their water-bucket.
Jillustrations: da female half of da above-mentioned H2O-fetching duo.
krillustrations: either small sea creatures or da infamous insanely-hostile relieved-of-duty Naval commander who did indeed TOTALLY "look like he needed a psychological evaluation".
li'llustrations: da huge fanfold of snapshots dat grandparents always wanna show to everyone.
millustrations: photos/diagrams in a self-tour leaflet to direct visitors around a grain-processing facility or manufacturing plant.
Nillastrations: da fancy-schmancy images dat Nabisco prints on da outside of a junk-food cookies box.
Additional examples of alphabetical illustrations include:

nillustrations: an empty picture-album.
Phillustrations: da fat creepy-eyebrowed unlicensed "doctor" on TV.
Phyllistrations: celebrity-stills of Ms. Diller.
pillustrations: either a pharmaceuticals-reference book or a "just say no" guide for youngsters on common street-vended "poppables".
quillustrations: can refer to either images of feather-type writing instruments, drawings made wif said primitive pens, or photos of porcupine-spines.
rillustrations: interesting water-channeling.
sillustrations: installation-guides for doors or windows
shillistrations: how to either become a con-artist's accomplice yourself, or spot/identify one in da crowd.
shrillistrations: how to pitch yer vocal chords to really project and make others in yer vicinity wince.
skillistrations: how experienced/capable you are at certain tasks.
spillistrations: da opposite of da above definition --- da photos would show how NON-"skillful" you are at cleanly performing simple product-carrying tasks.
stillistrations: stationary images of a moonshining operation, probably photographed by a "revenooer".
swillistrations: how to feed da hogs.
thrillistrations: how to really wow your observers.
tillistrations: how to plow da field.
trillustrations: a much-more-palatable version of seven entries back.
twillistrations: all about denim fabric.
willistrations: intent-related activities or postmortem bequeathment
by QuacksO April 25, 2025
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alphabetical hoarder

someone who hoards goods in a meticulous fashion, often alphabetically.
whats up with ya roommates beer bottles of the world collection?

i think he's an alphabetical hoarder.
by kidla November 06, 2010
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