Da "top people" whom folks consult for advice/assistance on a variety of ordinary topics dat are randomly scattered about over da "ol' 26" in da English language.
Da seven most common types of alphabetical authorities are:
(1) hexpert --- someone who is super-familiar with voodoo and curses; hopefully he uses said vast witchcraft-knowledge to remove or alleviate said evil spells, not to put them on in da first place!
(2) mexpert --- an individual well-versed in all matters "south of da border".
(3) pexpert --- a plumber who is well-versed in da use of freeze-resistant plastic piping
(4) rexpert --- a learned bookworm on da subject of certain animals, either man's best friend or da huge hunched-over carnivores back in da Jurassic period.
(5) sexpert --- someone who can advise couples on achieving more satisfying intimacy.
(6) texpert --- a dude who knows all about da "black-tea"-rich southern-USA area dat is Ranger Walker's usual stompin' grounds.
(7) vexpert --- a human-nature guru with extensive experience on what pushes people's buttons; again --- as in da first example above --- presumably he uses said know-how to help **reduce** already-existing frustration/distress in others, not to purposely exhibit destructive behavior dat would cause people to **become** wound up when they had felt reasonably calm before! (Da infamous "gettin', getters, got"exchange between Madea and Dr. Phil comes to mind.)
(1) hexpert --- someone who is super-familiar with voodoo and curses; hopefully he uses said vast witchcraft-knowledge to remove or alleviate said evil spells, not to put them on in da first place!
(2) mexpert --- an individual well-versed in all matters "south of da border".
(3) pexpert --- a plumber who is well-versed in da use of freeze-resistant plastic piping
(4) rexpert --- a learned bookworm on da subject of certain animals, either man's best friend or da huge hunched-over carnivores back in da Jurassic period.
(5) sexpert --- someone who can advise couples on achieving more satisfying intimacy.
(6) texpert --- a dude who knows all about da "black-tea"-rich southern-USA area dat is Ranger Walker's usual stompin' grounds.
(7) vexpert --- a human-nature guru with extensive experience on what pushes people's buttons; again --- as in da first example above --- presumably he uses said know-how to help **reduce** already-existing frustration/distress in others, not to purposely exhibit destructive behavior dat would cause people to **become** wound up when they had felt reasonably calm before! (Da infamous "gettin', getters, got"exchange between Madea and Dr. Phil comes to mind.)
by QuacksO February 7, 2020
Get the alphabetical authorities mug.Assorted "from away" individuals, classified with various single-word descriptions drawn from da ol' 26, such as:
blimmigrant: dat shady new guy in town whom all of da "just say no" folks prudently steer clear of.
brimmigrant: an "import" designer of baseball caps.
dimmigrant: a hopped-off-da-boat laborer who has "a mind dat's weak and a back dat's strong".
flimmigrant: a passing-through-town con-man who's out to "flam" you --- da phony weavers in da "Emperor's New Clothes" come to mind as excellent examples.
glimmigrant: a visiting candle-salesman.
grimmigrant: an "outta-statah" who could really stand to lighten up a bit.
himmigrant: a male newcomer, possibly looking for some juicy local-female a**.
Jimmigrant: what Captain Cook and any other individuals with his same first name would become whenever they "landed on a foreign shore".
Kimmigrant: a new face in da village with a common name dat could equally be given to either gender.
limbigrant: a visiting arborist or chiropractor.
NIMHigrant: either a shrink or a touched-in-da-head patient of one who has breezed into town.
primmigrant: a "proper 'n' stuffy" person from da outside who is critical/disdainful of native residents and thus causes them to resent ALL newcomers.
quimmigrant: similar to da eighth definition above, although it could also be a hot-in-da-crotch CHICK who's seeking out also-horny STUDS in a new town to get "milk" from them.
rimmigrant: a traveling salesman selling "steel wheel" components.
blimmigrant: dat shady new guy in town whom all of da "just say no" folks prudently steer clear of.
brimmigrant: an "import" designer of baseball caps.
dimmigrant: a hopped-off-da-boat laborer who has "a mind dat's weak and a back dat's strong".
flimmigrant: a passing-through-town con-man who's out to "flam" you --- da phony weavers in da "Emperor's New Clothes" come to mind as excellent examples.
glimmigrant: a visiting candle-salesman.
grimmigrant: an "outta-statah" who could really stand to lighten up a bit.
himmigrant: a male newcomer, possibly looking for some juicy local-female a**.
Jimmigrant: what Captain Cook and any other individuals with his same first name would become whenever they "landed on a foreign shore".
Kimmigrant: a new face in da village with a common name dat could equally be given to either gender.
limbigrant: a visiting arborist or chiropractor.
NIMHigrant: either a shrink or a touched-in-da-head patient of one who has breezed into town.
primmigrant: a "proper 'n' stuffy" person from da outside who is critical/disdainful of native residents and thus causes them to resent ALL newcomers.
quimmigrant: similar to da eighth definition above, although it could also be a hot-in-da-crotch CHICK who's seeking out also-horny STUDS in a new town to get "milk" from them.
rimmigrant: a traveling salesman selling "steel wheel" components.
More "alphabetical immigrants" examples:
SIMmigrant: A SIMilar person to that described in da previous definition, but one pedaling memory-cards for cell phones.
scrimmigrant: a stupid-a** tourist who doesn't plan/think ahead when it comes to packing heavy-enough garments.
shimmigrant: a traveling handyman who's looking to "fill da gaps" around da area in which he's staying temporarily.
shimmygrant: a visitor who either frequently needs a steadying hand as he goes about his day, or drives a car dat could benefit from da services of da person described in da "R" definition above.
skimmigrant: a sleazy company-rep who stops in at various branch-establishments and surreptitiously embezzles small amounts from their coffers.
slimmigrant: a fly-by-night huckster who pedals flab-reduction products.
swimmigrant: a summer-camp pool-instructor who's recently arrived in da area.
Timmigrant: a "green green grass of home"-named dude who ISN'T currently in his "home" turf.
trimmigrant: can be either da same as da third definition back, or of da caring-for-plants tradesperson mentioned in da "L" definition.
vimmigrant: could also refer to da first example referred to above, as a practitioner hawking weight-loss wares might also promise dat you'll feel more "chipper 'n' cheerful" as a result of being more in shape, as well.
whimmigrant: a from-afar individual who either breezily bounces from one interest/preference to another, or promises da locals anything they fancy.
SIMmigrant: A SIMilar person to that described in da previous definition, but one pedaling memory-cards for cell phones.
scrimmigrant: a stupid-a** tourist who doesn't plan/think ahead when it comes to packing heavy-enough garments.
shimmigrant: a traveling handyman who's looking to "fill da gaps" around da area in which he's staying temporarily.
shimmygrant: a visitor who either frequently needs a steadying hand as he goes about his day, or drives a car dat could benefit from da services of da person described in da "R" definition above.
skimmigrant: a sleazy company-rep who stops in at various branch-establishments and surreptitiously embezzles small amounts from their coffers.
slimmigrant: a fly-by-night huckster who pedals flab-reduction products.
swimmigrant: a summer-camp pool-instructor who's recently arrived in da area.
Timmigrant: a "green green grass of home"-named dude who ISN'T currently in his "home" turf.
trimmigrant: can be either da same as da third definition back, or of da caring-for-plants tradesperson mentioned in da "L" definition.
vimmigrant: could also refer to da first example referred to above, as a practitioner hawking weight-loss wares might also promise dat you'll feel more "chipper 'n' cheerful" as a result of being more in shape, as well.
whimmigrant: a from-afar individual who either breezily bounces from one interest/preference to another, or promises da locals anything they fancy.
by QuacksO April 25, 2025
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Get the Alphabet mug.BACKcident: Where you either throw out your spine, or run over/into something while driving in reverse
FAXcident: An "oopsie" (such as garbled or overly-sensitive data) regarding printed material dat you sent over da phone lines
HACKcident: A major computer-related screw-up due to your not having updated your malware-shield recently enough
JACKcident: Depending on which version --- original vs. modern --- of da poem you read, this term can mean: (1) what Jill's male companion suffered due to his losing his footing near da top of da hill where da well was, or (2) what JILL HERSELF suffered when she had unprotected sex wif da pot-smoking Jack, and forgot to take her pill at da time. Can also refer to: (3) what can happen if you don't position your mechanical lifting-device properly when changing a tire, or (4) da painful experience dat you'd get when stepping on an unseen knobby/spikey-toy in your stocking-feet!
FAXcident: An "oopsie" (such as garbled or overly-sensitive data) regarding printed material dat you sent over da phone lines
HACKcident: A major computer-related screw-up due to your not having updated your malware-shield recently enough
JACKcident: Depending on which version --- original vs. modern --- of da poem you read, this term can mean: (1) what Jill's male companion suffered due to his losing his footing near da top of da hill where da well was, or (2) what JILL HERSELF suffered when she had unprotected sex wif da pot-smoking Jack, and forgot to take her pill at da time. Can also refer to: (3) what can happen if you don't position your mechanical lifting-device properly when changing a tire, or (4) da painful experience dat you'd get when stepping on an unseen knobby/spikey-toy in your stocking-feet!
Additional examples of alphabetical accidents include:
LAXcident: Refers to either: (1) an unfortunate mishap due to one or more people's not being careful/attentive/cautious enough, or (2) an unexpected calamity at da big airport in Southern California
MAXcident: What insurance-fraud crooks try to create so as to collect da biggest payout dat they possibly can from their injury/damage-related policies
PAXcident: A messy screw-up at da annual gaming-festival
RACKcident: A debacle regarding either a welded-metal wares-platform or da triangular frame for corralling da balls in table-tennis
SACKcident: Refers to either: (1) a messy spillage from a burlap bag, or (2) getting a girl preggo when sharing her sleeping-bag
TACKcident: An unforeseen "big ouch" incident similar to Definition #4 of "Jackcident"
TAXcident: Where you inadvertently let slip about undeclared assets to da IRS
WAXcident: Da unfortunate results of having da hair-removal medium too hot when spreading it on your excessively-furred skin
YAKcident: Refers to either: (1) where you majorly put your foot in your mouth due to uninhibited/indiscreet blabbing, or (2) a mishap regarding a huge hairy mammal with massive curling horns
LAXcident: Refers to either: (1) an unfortunate mishap due to one or more people's not being careful/attentive/cautious enough, or (2) an unexpected calamity at da big airport in Southern California
MAXcident: What insurance-fraud crooks try to create so as to collect da biggest payout dat they possibly can from their injury/damage-related policies
PAXcident: A messy screw-up at da annual gaming-festival
RACKcident: A debacle regarding either a welded-metal wares-platform or da triangular frame for corralling da balls in table-tennis
SACKcident: Refers to either: (1) a messy spillage from a burlap bag, or (2) getting a girl preggo when sharing her sleeping-bag
TACKcident: An unforeseen "big ouch" incident similar to Definition #4 of "Jackcident"
TAXcident: Where you inadvertently let slip about undeclared assets to da IRS
WAXcident: Da unfortunate results of having da hair-removal medium too hot when spreading it on your excessively-furred skin
YAKcident: Refers to either: (1) where you majorly put your foot in your mouth due to uninhibited/indiscreet blabbing, or (2) a mishap regarding a huge hairy mammal with massive curling horns
by QuacksO July 23, 2021
Get the alphabetical accidents mug.A-to-Z terms for assorted "stash of cash" type holdings, such as:
bassets: How many fish ya caught (can also refer to how deep musical-notes ya can produce from yer audio system)
brassets: Da total number/amount of copper-alloy items dat ya possess
cassets: Da monetary holdings dat Silas Marner's friend Godfrey shared wif him to help wif Eppie's upbringing; could also refer to how many audio-tapes ya have
classets: Da students attending a particular grade in school
crassets: Da "reserve" of "non G-rated" remarks/actions dat ya are willing/able to perform
gassets: Da quantity of already-produced methane dat ya have "stockpiled" inside yer colon so dat ya can fart on demand
glassets: How many beakers, test tubes, bottles, goblets, etc., dat ya possess
grassets: Can refer to either how lush yer lawn is, or da quantity of cannabis dat ya presently have in yer "happy" stash
bassets: How many fish ya caught (can also refer to how deep musical-notes ya can produce from yer audio system)
brassets: Da total number/amount of copper-alloy items dat ya possess
cassets: Da monetary holdings dat Silas Marner's friend Godfrey shared wif him to help wif Eppie's upbringing; could also refer to how many audio-tapes ya have
classets: Da students attending a particular grade in school
crassets: Da "reserve" of "non G-rated" remarks/actions dat ya are willing/able to perform
gassets: Da quantity of already-produced methane dat ya have "stockpiled" inside yer colon so dat ya can fart on demand
glassets: How many beakers, test tubes, bottles, goblets, etc., dat ya possess
grassets: Can refer to either how lush yer lawn is, or da quantity of cannabis dat ya presently have in yer "happy" stash
Additional examples of "alphabetical assets" include:
lassets: Da names in yer "little black book"
massets: Can refer to either (1) da total volume of bulk dat ya possess, or da total amount dat a Catholic church has accumulated from passing da collection plate
passets: Monetary resources dat ya either had handed to ya or acquired by visiting dat big city in Texas (i.e., "Ell Passo")
sassets: Da number of "juss flippin' yer switchiz" wisecracks dat ya have "on standby" to good-naturedly tease someone
TASSets: How much of yer investment-portfolio is tied up in Russian-news-agency stocks
lassets: Da names in yer "little black book"
massets: Can refer to either (1) da total volume of bulk dat ya possess, or da total amount dat a Catholic church has accumulated from passing da collection plate
passets: Monetary resources dat ya either had handed to ya or acquired by visiting dat big city in Texas (i.e., "Ell Passo")
sassets: Da number of "juss flippin' yer switchiz" wisecracks dat ya have "on standby" to good-naturedly tease someone
TASSets: How much of yer investment-portfolio is tied up in Russian-news-agency stocks
by QuacksO October 28, 2025
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