Derived from: “Useful Idiot” (20th century Cold War term for obedient pawns of authoritarian regimes)
Modern Definition – 2025+ Edition:
A person—typically overeducated and underemployed—who, despite possessing access to vast information and elite academic institutions, dedicates their life to parroting establishment propaganda, enforcing groupthink, and shaming dissenters, all while contributing nothing of real value to society.
Unlike the original Useful Idiots, who were at least functionally useful to the regimes they served, Useless Idiots are a net drain on civilization:
Degrees in Queer Postmodern Interpretive Dance or Climate Reparations Economics
Attitudes of revolutionary importance while working part-time in coffee shops
Unable to foam milk or reset a router, but will lecture you on intersectional hegemony while spelling your name wrong
Full of rage when reminded they voluntarily majored in unemployability, and chose activism as personality
Self-identify as anti-authoritarian rebels, yet demanded you be arrested in 2020 for hugging your grandma
They serve you cold coffee with Ana Kasparian ("I'm Better Than You") sass and the smug self-regard of an unpaid MSNBC intern. They want the revolution, but only if someone else funds it and they still get oat milk.
Modern Definition – 2025+ Edition:
A person—typically overeducated and underemployed—who, despite possessing access to vast information and elite academic institutions, dedicates their life to parroting establishment propaganda, enforcing groupthink, and shaming dissenters, all while contributing nothing of real value to society.
Unlike the original Useful Idiots, who were at least functionally useful to the regimes they served, Useless Idiots are a net drain on civilization:
Degrees in Queer Postmodern Interpretive Dance or Climate Reparations Economics
Attitudes of revolutionary importance while working part-time in coffee shops
Unable to foam milk or reset a router, but will lecture you on intersectional hegemony while spelling your name wrong
Full of rage when reminded they voluntarily majored in unemployability, and chose activism as personality
Self-identify as anti-authoritarian rebels, yet demanded you be arrested in 2020 for hugging your grandma
They serve you cold coffee with Ana Kasparian ("I'm Better Than You") sass and the smug self-regard of an unpaid MSNBC intern. They want the revolution, but only if someone else funds it and they still get oat milk.
“No, Kendra, I will not sign your petition to abolish Thanksgiving. You’re a fucking Useless Idiot who couldn’t even make my latte hot.”
by SrcMaker June 16, 2025
Get the Useless Idiotmug. by bonelessburger January 20, 2019
Get the uselessnessmug. As Ino strolls through the outlying forest of the village, considering what she should do on her day-off, she sees a bright light and hears a scream. Looking up, she sees her friend, Sakura, falling through the sky. Rushing to her aid, she finds Sakura, useless as ever, unconscious on a tree branch.
by Red Rider December 27, 2021
Get the Uselessmug. 
someone who doesn’t achieve anything out of what they are doing. in other words, it’s a sakura haruno
sakura: naruto, sasuke is way more powerful and cool than you’ll ever be.
naruto: atleast i don’t just stand there and do nothing.
sakura: are you saying i’m useless?
naruto: i would never say that useless-chan.
naruto: atleast i don’t just stand there and do nothing.
sakura: are you saying i’m useless?
naruto: i would never say that useless-chan.
by thatbarbie.doll August 31, 2019
Get the uselessmug. by U5eLe55 TurtL3 October 13, 2020
Get the Useless Turtlemug.