Ted’s Law

The law that, in generality and absent mitigating circumstances or context, “the fact that you have to say ‘they’re not that bad’ means that they are that bad.”

First published after extensive research into the sexually available women of Boston, MA in the 2012 Seth MacFarlane film Ted, spoken by the eponymous Ted, whom MacFarlane also voiced.
Ted:
Look, all I'm saying is that Boston women are, on the whole, a paler, uglier sort than women from the elsewheres of life.

John:
That's bullshit. What about Lori? She's hot.

Ted:
No, Lori's from Pennsylvania. That's not a Boston girl.

John:
They're not that bad.

Ted:
See, the fact that you have to say "they're not that bad" means that they are that bad.

Guy watching the movie: So that’s where Ted’s Law comes from!
by me.....really May 07, 2021
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Nate's Law

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of gore or child porn approaches.
person 1: *posts ronnie mcnutt's final moments*
person 2: "yep, nate's law"
by xeralock June 19, 2024
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Bartels’ Law

The shorter the lawyer, the more likely an ad hominem attack.
That little guy was backed into a rhetorical corner, so he lashed out at the guy who led him there: classic Bartels’ Law.
by M3Me December 14, 2018
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Bandmate In-Law

Bandmate to the In-laws.
My father-in-laws bandmate is my bandmate in-law.
by Courtz Crystal November 10, 2019
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Daub's Law

A recently found out law of nature that clarifies a previously unreported phenomenon, it claims that as soon as any twitter post (commonly referred as tweet) surpasses 2000 likes that the comment section of said 'tweet' become unbearably annoying, there is no way to avoid or transcend this law, atleast at our current understandment of it.
"Man, everytime I click a gimmick account's post I'm bombarded with unfunny memes and terrible takes!" said the boy,
unpleasantly surprised while browsing Twitter for funny memes and good takes...
"Daub's Law..." replied the man in a drab tone.
by TheModernPrometheus December 05, 2021
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Daub's Law

A recently found out law of nature that clarifies a previously unreported phenomenon, it claims that as soon as any twitter post (commonly referred as tweet) surpasses 2000 likes that the comment section of said 'tweet' become unbearably annoying, there is no way to avoid or transcend this law, atleast to the extent of our current understandment of it.
"Man, everytime I click a gimmick account's post I'm bombarded with unfunny memes and terrible takes!" said the boy,
unpleasantly surprised while browsing Twitter for funny memes and good takes...
"Daub's Law..." replied the man in a drab tone.
by TheModernPrometheus December 05, 2021
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