Some dude who will randomly put his leg on the chair you're sitting on by accident, steal your seat, punch you (in a friendly manner) as a form of brotherhood, listens to church music because he wants to be a priest but also bodyrolls occasionally to assert dominance. He will also armwrestle... Everybody. But inside, hes a shy timid boy. Emotional, and wholesome. As well as shy when it comes to compliments.
"David is so annoying, but he's funny haha."
by jungminyoonjinseokhyung April 19, 2020
Get the David mug.The fastest means of transportation in the seven seas. Can deliver you from shell city to bikini bottom in a matter of minutes.
"Oh no... how are we ever gonna get back to Bikini Bottom now?"
"I can take you there."
"Who are you?!"
"I'm David Hasselhoff."
"I can take you there."
"Who are you?!"
"I'm David Hasselhoff."
by wyllielee August 13, 2021
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David Monkypants is a man known for having an impossibly large left-curving penis, accompanied by anger issues.
If you piss him off, he will dick slap you all the way to mars.
His favourite dish is the green bean casserole.
If you piss him off, he will dick slap you all the way to mars.
His favourite dish is the green bean casserole.
by wibbawobba June 7, 2024
Get the David Monkypants mug.Disgusting pervert who got away with some of the most revolting crimes for so many years. Why? He was a London Metropolitan police officer who carried a gun around protecting important UK Goverment buildings. It was this role that he used to hide his true colours. He worked in the same department of his police force as his sick colleague Wayne Couzens. He was referred to by his work colleagues as "Bastard Dave." All his victims thought they'd never be believed thanks to his policing role.
The crimes he committed were 80 sexual offences including at least 48 counts of rape against 12 women between 2003 and 2020 (17 years). Some of these offences were multiple incident offences and so less overall charges. The filthy bastard would force his victims to drink his piss and sometimes directly into their mouths, lock them in tiny cupboards for hours to use as slaves and make them clean his house naked. He would repeatedly rape them. In some cases he would dictate when they ate and slept. He threatened to kill them if they didn't comply. What a nasty fucking piece of work. Thankfully he admitted to the charges and a conviction was secured and he has gained national and some international attention so one can name and shame this freak as much as they like. He will likely spend the rest of his days behind bars. Filthy fucking pig.
The crimes he committed were 80 sexual offences including at least 48 counts of rape against 12 women between 2003 and 2020 (17 years). Some of these offences were multiple incident offences and so less overall charges. The filthy bastard would force his victims to drink his piss and sometimes directly into their mouths, lock them in tiny cupboards for hours to use as slaves and make them clean his house naked. He would repeatedly rape them. In some cases he would dictate when they ate and slept. He threatened to kill them if they didn't comply. What a nasty fucking piece of work. Thankfully he admitted to the charges and a conviction was secured and he has gained national and some international attention so one can name and shame this freak as much as they like. He will likely spend the rest of his days behind bars. Filthy fucking pig.
by TheFunnyGuy88 January 16, 2023
Get the David Carrick mug.A man who dropped out of school to do nothing with his life, launder money off his parents, and swear to people hes going to make it big
"Hey, have you seen John in school lately?"
"No. Hes pulling a David Kavanagh Hayde."
"What a faggot"
"No. Hes pulling a David Kavanagh Hayde."
"What a faggot"
by Surzy Wurzy October 30, 2023
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