i did not run that family of four over with my car on the 15 of october 2023 at 3pm before dumping their bodies in the nearby lake

i didnt do it

Dave: Did you run that family of four over with my car on the 15 of october 2023 at 3pm before dumping their bodies in the nearby lake?

BOB:I did not run that family of four over with my car on the 15 of october 2023 at 3pm before dumping their bodies in the nearby lake

by chimp that can talk December 18, 2024

...I did something

The noise you hear before your friend is about to tell you that they zip tied their two big toes together.

Phone rings:
Friend 1: Hey what's up, you never call me?

Friend 2: ...I did something

Friend 1: Damn it, not again. Are you at least near scissors this time?

Friend 2: well um... funny story, I was going on a hike in the woods and I found a zip tie in my bag...

Friend 1: so what you're saying is you're in the middle of the woods alone with your big toes zip tied together?

Friend 2: Uhm... yeah pretty much...

Friend 1: (bursts out laughing) Well have fun with that, this is gonna be a fun story to tell my parents (hangs up)

Friend 2: Wait what do you mean tell your parents? Hello? Don't leave me here.

by IDK1234583 July 9, 2024

Why did I even buy this mug?

What you might ask after buying a mug from Urban Dictionary.

1: Hey man, that mug sucks.
2: I thought it was funny, but now that I think of it, why did I even buy this mug?

by Why did I even buy this mug? April 24, 2024