asphyxiated turtle head

pronounced- ass fix ee eight ed ter tul hed, which is the state of a mans penis when attempting to pee after having been in an uncomfortably cold temperature for a range of time. Asphyxiated turtle head can even cause pain in the tip and give the sensation of still having urine that needs to be expelled.
"damn this asphyxiated turtle head! ive been forcing out drops of piss for 3 minutes!"
by MercWidaMouth November 14, 2010
mugGet the asphyxiated turtle headmug.

turtles

Worse than llamas because llamas are awesome.
turtles are noobier than llamas
by Acritus April 20, 2017
mugGet the turtlesmug.

Turtle-Tonguing

Eating that cooch shamefully, similar to how a turtle pokes its head out

Being bad at given a female oral
“How was last night, did he go down on you?”

“Well… something like that, he ended up turtle-tonguing me, it was painfully slow and anticlimactic
by Cowhide19 August 12, 2025
mugGet the Turtle-Tonguingmug.

Pyjama Turtle

Someone who uses protection after they already have protection because they are a paranoid pillock.
"So did you do it?"
"Yeah but he had 3 condoms on, such a pyjama turtle"

"Maybe i should bring extra, just in case"
"Dude don't be a pyjama turtle"
by Pyjama Turtle November 18, 2011
mugGet the Pyjama Turtlemug.

Sky Turtle

The one and only best gay gamer on PC and PS3
Omg it's Sky Turtle he is such a nasty HOEEEEE!!
by SkyTurtle5872 November 6, 2020
mugGet the Sky Turtlemug.

Bacon Turtle

A Turtle, usually a King Turtle of the Royal Turtle Guard. Also a word for assorted meats shaped like a turtle.

A Bacon Turtle loves bacon and spreads the word and belief of Bacon. Bacon Turtles and Turtles alike are enemies of the Panda Army and the Penguin Union. The King Bacon Turtle was defeated at The Puffin-Koala Gap by the Pan-da Warriors in PANDA 7 (Panda Years), and he later retreated to plot an all-out war on the Panda Army. The Bacon Turtle and his Royal Turtle Guard is no match for the Elite Pan-da Warriors.

The Bacon Turtle began at a humble little wood building on the corner of a busy street, titled: Bacon Turtle & Associates. They sold chocolate-covered bacon and bacon shaped like turtles. Since then, they have grown into a legitomato army. The Bacon Turtle and his associates are the exclusive members of the I Don't Care Club. The Turtle Motto is "Viva la Bacon, TGIF" (Long Live Bacon, Thank God It's Friday).
Bacon Turtle: Kneel before your almighty ruler, the Bacon Turtle!
Panda: No.
Bacon Turtle: Then you will face a life of bacon deprivation. Take him away, Royal Turtle Guard!
Panda: Is this some sort of torture, because I'm not addicted to bacon...
Bacon Turtle: Are you insulting my religion? Do you wish to say that you are against bacon? You will be locked in a room with bacon!
Panda: Free bacon is fine with me...

Epic Meal Time: We're cooking up some BACON, AND TURTLES! THAT MEANS BACON TURTLES!
by Panda Army Representative January 16, 2014
mugGet the Bacon Turtlemug.

Sick turtle

Someone who is slow, (Crippled) and gets sick a lot; because they have a weak immune system.
by Sick turtle September 23, 2016
mugGet the Sick turtlemug.

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