Goldfish

the girl/guy who has a significant other, but its not important because they have that magical something that makes you disregard that obstacle.
Guy: "We should go on a date."

Girl: "I have a boyfriend."
Guy: "Well I have a goldfish."
Girl: "What?"
Guy: "I'm sorry I thought we were talking about things that don't matter."
Friend: "Who are you texting?"
Friend 2: "Goldfish."
Friend: "Doesn't she have a boyfriend?"

Friend 2: "Exactly."
by Atilla the Hans September 17, 2013
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Goldfish

Me: okay brain, I'm gonna sleep

Brain: Okay

Me: So you have to be quiet

Brain: Okay

Me:

Brain:

Me:

Brain:

Me: -half asleep-

Brain: The snack that smiles back!

Me: *Yells* GOLDFISH!
by Galaxy1412 April 20, 2016
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Goldfish

The cheese-flavored snack that supposedly smiles back, but tends to vary in that regard. Some Goldfish are all smiles, but others appear to have no smile at all. Interesting.

The original is usually the best, and with Goldfish, that is no exception. The "flavor blasted" varieties are absolutely disgusting, and the person who thought that making pizza-flavored crackers shaped like fish was absolutely fucked in the head.

Goldfish are promoted by a band of anthropomorphic fish, which are thoroughly annoying, and somewhat detract from the enjoyment of the crackers. The leader of this band of fish is named "Finn" (Ha Ha), and is somehow able to wear sunglasses, despite having eyes on the side of his head, and having no nose. He is also joined by other fish, one of which is named "X-Treme". I can only assume that he was born in the 90's. X-Treme also represents the 'Flavor blasted" variety, which happens to be the exact reason why I despise X-Treme.

The crackers are produced by Pepperidge Farms, and sold internationally. They are quite good. In fact, I am eating some at this moment (the original flavor, duh).
Person- "you want some Goldfish?'
Me- "Hell yeas"
Person- (Pours Goldfish into my hands)
In unison- "The snack that smiles back!"
by Supreme_Sucks March 23, 2017
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The Goldfish Trick

the goldfish trick is where you take a live goldfish, put it in a glass of water, drink it and then vomit it up alive.
James: Come on man, you can do it!
Tom: BLARGH, BLAAAAH, HEEEAARRRGH! WOOOO!
James: HOLY CRAP YOU DID THE GOLDFISH TRICK!!!
Tom: I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING GOD!!!!!!
by HunkyChunkyFunkyMonkey March 17, 2011
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angry goldfish

Oral sex performed with a mouthful of chewed up crackers, preferably of the goldfish brand, but any cracker will work
That freak gave me an angry goldfish! She salty as fuck!
by Pauljamal February 22, 2018
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goldfish friend

a type of friend that tends to forget you exist when they make new friends, or get a new girl/boyfriend, and then come crawling back if/when the relationship ends.

similar to a goldfish forgetting something in its tank and rediscovering it after swimming around the entire tank.
“did you hear that marcus broke up with kristina?”

“yeah, he came crawling back to me after ghosting me for a month. he’s such a goldfish friend, i hate when he does this shit.”
by crackerjack9 April 13, 2022
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