The act of cranking one out involving the use of the largest screen in the house (usually the TV in the living room) to watch pornography.
I'm sick of squinting at my phone screen in the toilet while the missus is home. I've got the house to myself tonight so I'm going to crack open a can, get pornhub up on the 60" in the living room and have a nice big telly wank.
by sproates April 29, 2021
by Upstairsdragon December 19, 2013
The act of masturbating during working hours or in the workplace, and hence being paid while completing the duty.
The hot intern bent over to pick up some papers earlier. It gave me a massive erection so I had to sneak off for a gigolo wank to correct myself.
by Bruce Foreskin August 09, 2013
A form of ad-hoc masturbation following an unexpected event, causing a sudden rush of adrenaline. Usually performed in public as it should be followed through while you still feel the hormone coursing through your veins.
Guy 1: I think we lost the Feds.
Guy 2: That was madness. I could go for an adrenaline wank right now.
Guy 2: That was madness. I could go for an adrenaline wank right now.
by syzlacker November 13, 2019
Mom: Jordan, do the damn dishes!
Jordan: Hang on, i'm doing a Wormhole wank!
Mom: You kept the bait from fishing earlier?
Jordan: Hang on, i'm doing a Wormhole wank!
Mom: You kept the bait from fishing earlier?
by jillstobbs_ September 09, 2017
Someone whomst is a Member of the British Conservative party who wants everyone to pledge allegiance to the flag of the UK.
Boris Johnson enjoyed **Flag Wanking** in parilament today.
by Oure April 21, 2021
by jackametii1234 February 22, 2010