Posh wank scam

When you give yourself a posh wank but the condom rips right at the top and your cum goes everywhere.

Joe: Yesterday I gave myself a posh want but when right when I had finished I experienced a posh wank scam.
Dave: Damn dude! Your cum must have gone everywhere!

by HustleMeister August 14, 2017

can't-wank-erous

Frustration or irritability resulting from the inability to masturbate on account of a lack of privacy or opportunity.

Frank had relatives in town and was growing increasingly can't-wank-erous.

by ladydady December 16, 2015

windmill wank

On insertion of the penis into an armpit, (usually not one's own), the recipient rotates the arm windmill-style until the desired consummation is attained.

We've tried everything except a windmill wank; there simply isn't room in her tiny bedsit.

by philologue August 19, 2011

nigel suicide wank

when your having a wank just before blow load, shout of Mum( diseased and rottin), bring my dinner up please, then try and finish the job before she gets into your room

nigel suicide wank stinks

by mrs tosser October 4, 2025

Wank jerked

Wank jerked is when one of your parents catches you masturbating.

Jill: You seem rather depressed, what happened to you today?

Johnny: Well I found some good porn and I was going to have a good time, but my mom wank jerked me.

by Box Worm November 24, 2019

Wanked

The past tense form of wink

He wanked at me earlier today

by Adolf Hitler is cute November 8, 2019

Adrenaline Wank

A form of ad-hoc masturbation following an unexpected event, causing a sudden rush of adrenaline. Usually performed in public as it should be followed through while you still feel the hormone coursing through your veins.

Guy 1: I think we lost the Feds.
Guy 2: That was madness. I could go for an adrenaline wank right now.

by syzlacker November 13, 2019