Progressive metal is a generally needlessly complicated and unstructured form of music that often makes minimal sense to the majority of metal fans because it can only be appreciated by people with an IQ over 600.
Progressive metal fans often believe they are superior to any fan of any other genre and will generally reject any piece music that isn't at least 20 minutes long with 40 key changes per minute.
Music in 4/4 is like kryptonite to a progressive metal fan and they must be administered dream theatre riffs as an antidote
An easy way to spot a progressive metal fan is to look for the guy who is pissed off at Opeth for dropping the growls yet goes to their shows anyway and yells for them to play Black Rose Immortal. He will also let everyone know that he's mostly there for the support band, who he has known about for ages.
In short, the math nerd of metal
Progressive metal fans often believe they are superior to any fan of any other genre and will generally reject any piece music that isn't at least 20 minutes long with 40 key changes per minute.
Music in 4/4 is like kryptonite to a progressive metal fan and they must be administered dream theatre riffs as an antidote
An easy way to spot a progressive metal fan is to look for the guy who is pissed off at Opeth for dropping the growls yet goes to their shows anyway and yells for them to play Black Rose Immortal. He will also let everyone know that he's mostly there for the support band, who he has known about for ages.
In short, the math nerd of metal
*At an Opeth show*
Friend: Who's that guy *Points at a guy middle aged guy with long hair, glasses and a dream theatre shirt on stood in the middle of the pit looking like a moody teenager*
Me: Oh that's a progressive metal guy, he actually hates this band because their music is too simple
Friend: So why's he here if he hates them?
Me: Oh it's happening, look at him now
Prog metal guy: I HATE YOU GUYS WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO BACK TO THE WAY YOU WERE YOU BETTER PLAY BLACK ROSE IMMORTAL RIGHT NOW OR I'M OUT OF HERE.
Friend: Wow
Friend: Who's that guy *Points at a guy middle aged guy with long hair, glasses and a dream theatre shirt on stood in the middle of the pit looking like a moody teenager*
Me: Oh that's a progressive metal guy, he actually hates this band because their music is too simple
Friend: So why's he here if he hates them?
Me: Oh it's happening, look at him now
Prog metal guy: I HATE YOU GUYS WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO BACK TO THE WAY YOU WERE YOU BETTER PLAY BLACK ROSE IMMORTAL RIGHT NOW OR I'M OUT OF HERE.
Friend: Wow
by Crilbus January 27, 2019
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Get the Metal cock mug.I will smack you with a metal pole is a word that tells an annoying goofy ahh goober to shut the hell up and leave the premises.
even though it’s an empty threat, the roasting capabilities of this godly sentence can obliterate the victims social life, including when he is given a restraining order in 20 years.
even though it’s an empty threat, the roasting capabilities of this godly sentence can obliterate the victims social life, including when he is given a restraining order in 20 years.
The definition of “I will hit you with a metal pole” is rather simple, as it is a mentally deadly roast that can obliterate the “goofy goobers” feelings.
Here is an example of a conversation using the word, with a character called “Normal Person” who doesn’t use Eloel as lol:
Normal Person: *walks calmly*
annoying goober: HEY ANIME IS BETTER!
Normal Person: shut the hell up
annoying goober: NOT UNTIL YOU PROVE ANIME ISN’T BETTER!
Normal Person: I will smack you with a metal pole
annoying goober *dies of destruction of social life.
Here is an example of a conversation using the word, with a character called “Normal Person” who doesn’t use Eloel as lol:
Normal Person: *walks calmly*
annoying goober: HEY ANIME IS BETTER!
Normal Person: shut the hell up
annoying goober: NOT UNTIL YOU PROVE ANIME ISN’T BETTER!
Normal Person: I will smack you with a metal pole
annoying goober *dies of destruction of social life.
by a meme definition October 9, 2023
Get the I will hit you with a metal pole mug.Much like gateway drugs, it’s the softer entry level metal you listen to before getting into harder, heavier metal. -Steven Jessup
by JekkylJack June 7, 2025
Get the Gateway Metal mug.You know you are listening to heavy metal when it’s got a 3 minute intro then lyrics about death or war or it’s just so distorted you can’t hear the lyrics I recommend if you plan to get into metal you should start with less heavy bands like cannibal corpse or sodom if you can’t listen to a cannibal corpse song all the way through you are a pussy
by Scuba Shlog April 23, 2021
Get the Heavy Metal mug.An urban legend who can shift through realities with a snap of his fingers. He is both alive and a ghost so nobody notices him and he is an arsonist. If you see him hide your kids and your wife.
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