The glorious act in which one or more persons defecate into a condom, and while holding it from the open end, swings it in a circular motion to ensure that the fecal matter attains the maximum fill capacity of the condom. At this point, the condom containing the feces is placed in a freezer, and is to remain there until the stool filled condom is frozen solid¹. Once completely filled AND frozen, the condom is inserted directly into the vaginal/anal cavity, wasting no time from the point of removal from the freezer, ensuring sheer "Alaskan" authenticity. At this point, the homemade sex toy can be left in the cavity, or inserted and removed continuously, as one would with a dildo. This may take quite some time to prepare indeed, so pre-planning is a must. However, there is nothing preventing the reuse of the "hot pocket."
¹The mean freezing point of human excrement is 14°F, -10°C, 263.2 K
¹The mean freezing point of human excrement is 14°F, -10°C, 263.2 K
The Night Before:
- Gertrude: I'm feeling saucy, Lionel. What do you say we go for another Hot Carl this evening?
- Lionel: Well Gertrude, that, in addition to a Dirty Gas Pump shall suffice for this evening, but I am midway through finishing that Alaskan Hot Pocket I informed you of over tea this afternoon.
- Gertrude: Ah, yes. I've been thinking about that since the moment you told of such. Tell me dear, when do you believe it will be completed?
- Lionel: I presume by early in the morrow.
Evening of Use:
- Lionel: Dear, are you well ready for that nice, frozen treat.
- Gertrude: Tally-ho! Let's get to work.
**After many sounds of faint moaning, groaning, and pain, both Lionel and Gertrude emerge from the dark corner of the third floor study, only to return the Alaskan Hot Pocket to the freezer.**
- Gertrude: I'm feeling saucy, Lionel. What do you say we go for another Hot Carl this evening?
- Lionel: Well Gertrude, that, in addition to a Dirty Gas Pump shall suffice for this evening, but I am midway through finishing that Alaskan Hot Pocket I informed you of over tea this afternoon.
- Gertrude: Ah, yes. I've been thinking about that since the moment you told of such. Tell me dear, when do you believe it will be completed?
- Lionel: I presume by early in the morrow.
Evening of Use:
- Lionel: Dear, are you well ready for that nice, frozen treat.
- Gertrude: Tally-ho! Let's get to work.
**After many sounds of faint moaning, groaning, and pain, both Lionel and Gertrude emerge from the dark corner of the third floor study, only to return the Alaskan Hot Pocket to the freezer.**
by Sir. Nigel Spalding, Esq., IV September 29, 2008
Get the Alaskan Hot Pocketmug. In a sentence: "My right pocket is the hot pocket."
ex.1 The boy had two hot pockets that day.
ex.2 Hot pockets are gross, and are easily visible when you wear tight pants. Loose pants wearers can hot pocket easily.
ex.1 The boy had two hot pockets that day.
ex.2 Hot pockets are gross, and are easily visible when you wear tight pants. Loose pants wearers can hot pocket easily.
by Mr. Anti-Charco October 15, 2007
Get the hot pocketmug. by twtcmaustin October 9, 2007
Get the pocket full of horsesmug. When you put tostino's pizza rolls between your butt cheeks and fart on them and then serve your friends or family members.
by 7ft chef July 14, 2014
Get the chicago hot pocketmug. When someone tries to include you in a "we" that you don't feel part of, the traditional response is "We? What do you mean, we? Do you have a turd in your pocket?" Translates as semi-funny emphatic rejection of false or forced collectivism. (My "do you have a mouse in your pocket?" is the cleaned-up version of the old rhetorical rejection of the false "we.")
by Why da'ya Care November 8, 2007
Get the turd in your pocketmug. When a man ejaculates into a womans mouth, and proceeds to take a dump in said mouth immediately after. Then, he proceeds to uppercut her in the jaw. Excreting what appears to be a hot pocket like substance.
Jim: Bill, you look terribly constipated.
Bill: Thats right Jim. I am saving up for tonight, where I shall proceed to give my girldfriend a Jersey Hot Pocket.
Bill: Thats right Jim. I am saving up for tonight, where I shall proceed to give my girldfriend a Jersey Hot Pocket.
by Rockon1885 December 22, 2008
Get the Jersey Hot Pocketmug. by Lobonfiend April 22, 2009
Get the Alabamha Hot Pocketmug.