mateo molenaar

a sexy 5'1 white male with a huge cock. looks like he sells burnt hot dog buns outside of a blockbuster. keeps at it with a chipmunk and is a d4 kicker committed to e wing university

damn mateo molenaar makes my stomach turn in circles with how big them damn ears are

by yo boiiy bigbird December 10, 2021

Homemade Molten Lava Cake

When you can’t afford to go out somewhere and get a dessert, sometimes you have to improvise. One prime example would be pooping on a paper plate, then jizzing on said poop, which you will then put into a microwave for one minute. You’ve successfully made a Homemade Molten Lava Cake, enjoy!

Guy 1: Man I want a good dessert, but they’re just so dad gum expensive these days!
Guy 2: Have you ever tried a Homemade Molten Lava Cake, it’s completely free!
Guy 1: I’ve never heard of it, how do you make one
Guy 2: Oh boy, are you in for a treat!

by Mr.NateHiggers February 22, 2024

Oh my Maleen

A Malino's interpretation of "Oh my god!", because Maleen is supposedly their god. Pretty Blood Wiki says Copper said it once, but that shit is just flat-out misinformation my nigga. I watched Pretty Blood: Red Snow fully, back to front, top to bottom, five times, sub-titles off, sub-titles off-- doesn't matter, nigga is LYING. COPPER NEVER SAID THAT.

Malino 1: Dude, Copper died last week.
Malino 2: Oh my Maleen!

by Majima the Mad Dog of Shimano February 20, 2024