Bass Clarinet 

"This bass instrument of the Clarinet family is usually played by people who suck on regular Clarinet and therefore also naturally suck on Bass Clarinet. No one can ever hear them so who cares if they play? Usually mess up the simplest of things such as whole notes especially when they are exposed. Along with the Alto Clarinet it is often used by good clarinet players to get into District, State, and other Various Honor Bands. Some are whiney and complain that they can't march but it dosen't matter becasue they don't know how to play anyways. Rarley a Bari Sax player will have to doubble on Bass Clarinet for Jazz band."

"Hey! The concert was great even though the onlything I could hear from the Bass Clarinets were their Squeakes."

Bass Clarinet by Teth Bedrows June 3, 2009

Bass Clarinet 

NOT a saxophone!!

Football player 1: what instrument is that?
Football player 2: I think it’s a saxophone...
Drum major: *throws baton* NOT a SaXiPhOnE!

Me: Bass Clarinet!
Football player 1: what the heak is that?

Bass Clarinet by Emmadilemma1305 March 20, 2019

Bass Clarinet 

THE WEIRDEST FUCKING INSTRUMENT TO PLAY! Often slobbered on by people who deep throaght the instrument while looking insane

"hey your bass clarinet is too far down your throat!"

Bass Clarinet by trfygubhjknlm May 8, 2019

bass clarinet 

Eating a man's ass while giving him a handjob. A rusty clarinet in a "lower register."

My baby plays a mean bass clarinet.

bass clarinet by Bcmusic July 30, 2025

Bass Clarinet Player 

Usually, a bass clarinet player is a misunderstood, but very useful instrument in a band. Higher than a bari sax, but lower than a tenor sax, the bass clarinet player is the median in a low reed section. Not too high, not too low.

Band Director 1:We need more bari.
Bd 2:We need more tenor.
Bd 3:Nah, both would be over-kill. We need something in between.
Bd 1:We could add some bass clarinets player...
All:YES!

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Our tubas suck, so what do we do? Add more bass clarinets.

-Bass Clarinet Player explanation of what happens to tubas that suck

Bass Clarinet Player by Phantom034` November 3, 2008

bass clarinet player 

The most smiley person in the band, always willing to help.

Person: Hey could you help me move the Bass Drum?
Bass Clarinet Player: No problem!!

bass clarinet player by 1st Chair December 27, 2009

bass clarinet player 

Usually a player of the bass clarinet which is just like a regular clarinet but lower. Might be friends with the alto saxophone player and may cause unneeded drama in band.

A bass clarinet player that finds the need to date all saxophone players of her class

bass clarinet player by alskj November 23, 2007