A Tennessee Alka-Seltzer is when you stick an alka-seltzer into your mouth, then have oral sex with a Southern girl(with out telling her, but of course). As her vagina gets wet, you slip in the alka-seltzer, stand back, and watch the 'fire works'...or, in this case, 'foam works'.
The 'Tennesse' part is derived from college kids out of D.C. going into Virginia on a Saturday night, and performing it on innocent country 'gurls'. Why did I not choose 'Virginia' to make it a 'Virginia Alka-Seltzer'? Because Tennessee sounds better. And if you don't like it, piss off!
The 'Tennesse' part is derived from college kids out of D.C. going into Virginia on a Saturday night, and performing it on innocent country 'gurls'. Why did I not choose 'Virginia' to make it a 'Virginia Alka-Seltzer'? Because Tennessee sounds better. And if you don't like it, piss off!
Dude 1: Dude, I did a Tennessee Alka-Seltzer on a GRITS yesterday!
Dude 2: Shite! What happened? Was it fun?
Dude 1: Well...let's just say she'll never walk again.
Dude 2: Shite! What happened? Was it fun?
Dude 1: Well...let's just say she'll never walk again.
by Ben Erman July 4, 2007
Get the Tennessee Alka-Seltzer mug.When one is feeling particularly under the weather, hungover, tired etc the perfect solution is the Burnley alka seltzer.
This is when an individual masterbates, has an orgasm and then continues to masterbate until they have a second orgasm.
For the uninitiated or out of practice a soak period of up to 7 minutes is allowed between the first orgasm and the start of the second session of self love for it to qualify as a Burnley alka seltzer and to feel the benefits.
With more practice and to feel greater benefits, this soak period should reduce until a seasoned professional of the 5 fingered shuffle should leave no gap between the first and second fights with the purple headed yoghurt slinger.
This is when an individual masterbates, has an orgasm and then continues to masterbate until they have a second orgasm.
For the uninitiated or out of practice a soak period of up to 7 minutes is allowed between the first orgasm and the start of the second session of self love for it to qualify as a Burnley alka seltzer and to feel the benefits.
With more practice and to feel greater benefits, this soak period should reduce until a seasoned professional of the 5 fingered shuffle should leave no gap between the first and second fights with the purple headed yoghurt slinger.
Friend "Mate I'm hungover as fuck right now."
You "sounds like you need a quick Burnley alka seltzer to get yourself back in the game mate"
You "doctor I've been feeling under the weather for a while now and I just can't shift it, I've tried paracetamol and ibuprofen, I've had a day off work, I've even thought about doing some of that homeopathic shit"
Doctor "right I'm prescribing you a burnley alka seltzer, go straight home, take it and I think you'll feel much better straight away"
You "sounds like you need a quick Burnley alka seltzer to get yourself back in the game mate"
You "doctor I've been feeling under the weather for a while now and I just can't shift it, I've tried paracetamol and ibuprofen, I've had a day off work, I've even thought about doing some of that homeopathic shit"
Doctor "right I'm prescribing you a burnley alka seltzer, go straight home, take it and I think you'll feel much better straight away"
by Lex Kidderminster October 15, 2023
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