by BeatleBabe007 November 20, 2024
The Dirt Man is a mythological entity familiar to North American culture. The origin of the myth is unknown, but it bears similarities to the familiar childhood myths like the Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny. Where these myths diverge is in perceived alignment, and the age demographic. The tooth fairy and Easter bunny are known to be positive, well-meaning entities whereas the dirt man is a negative, frightening one, and is believed in by many adult men.
The myth commonly tells of a dark and shadowy figure, often appearing as a middle-aged man dressed as a cowboy. The dirt man visits and invades the homes of single bachelors, that is to say men without romantic partners. When the dirt man comes to your bedside, he is said to check beneath your pillow for a material sacrifice in the form of dirt, clay, or soil. If the dirt man finds dirt beneath your pillow, he will leave the home, sometimes leaving behind mysterious dirty boot prints and the smell of fresh soil. If the unlucky bachelor, however, does not leave a sacrifice for the dirt man, it is believed that he will harm or abduct the bachelor. Physical harm from the dirt man comes in many forms, and commonly involves damage to a man's reproductive system. Men report awakening to see the dirt man staring at them in the dark of night, and in the following days experiencing new problems including but not limited to: erectile dysfunction, low sperm count, Epididymitis, and the shrinking of one or more testicles, or the scrotum.
The myth commonly tells of a dark and shadowy figure, often appearing as a middle-aged man dressed as a cowboy. The dirt man visits and invades the homes of single bachelors, that is to say men without romantic partners. When the dirt man comes to your bedside, he is said to check beneath your pillow for a material sacrifice in the form of dirt, clay, or soil. If the dirt man finds dirt beneath your pillow, he will leave the home, sometimes leaving behind mysterious dirty boot prints and the smell of fresh soil. If the unlucky bachelor, however, does not leave a sacrifice for the dirt man, it is believed that he will harm or abduct the bachelor. Physical harm from the dirt man comes in many forms, and commonly involves damage to a man's reproductive system. Men report awakening to see the dirt man staring at them in the dark of night, and in the following days experiencing new problems including but not limited to: erectile dysfunction, low sperm count, Epididymitis, and the shrinking of one or more testicles, or the scrotum.
"We're guys, we keep a little dirt under the pillow for the dirt man, in case he comes to town. I keep a little dirt under the pillow for the dirt man, so he won't take me down to his lair."
by DefinitelyNotTheDirtMan May 30, 2024
French tall guy who wears a light brown suit when he is supposed to wear in dark as requested by the invitation card ("E' gradito l'abito scuro").
by pipistrone October 27, 2004
by Road man mark April 03, 2020
A bare-chested, muscled guy in gray sweatpants wearing a freshly carved Pumpkin over his head as a mask; or a simple latex Pumpkin Mask.
by nativedude11:11 September 20, 2020
Small man syndrome is the devastatingly disabling inferiority complex invariably associated with the completely and utterly debilitating death sentence disability of manletism (the catastrophically crippling condition of being a manlet, a diminutively dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10). Relentlessly driven to ever-greater extremes of manlet cope, manlet mathematics and guy height by the well-deserved bullying that the microscopic midget manlet constantly endures at the courtesy of disgusted women and laughing manmores for being a small man syndrome-infected Little Napoleon, the severely stunted small man syndrome sissy manlet can often be detected in public while loudly yelling at his mother on the phone because she wore his favorite pair of high heels again, dancing a merry jig atop of a bar stool in front of microbiology labs while dressed like a tiny, little leprechaun, begging for spare change to buy his fix of height boosting insoles in the parking lot of your local Foot Locker and crying tiny tears of manlet rage while furiously dry humping the pole of low clearance signs. Manlets, when will they learn?
Gemma: Lol, why is Kevin "Horrid Homunculus" Hart sobbingly driving around in a toy car while girlishly throwing his massive collection of high heels at that group of, by comparison towering, children over there? Anais: Classic small man syndrome. Short people got no reason. Gemma: Silly manlet boys...
by ManletDepreciator September 29, 2024
Mustache Man, a man who has two passionate lovers. He has a stunningly luscious mustache, obviously. If it is ever shaved, he gets immediate backlash because he just took away his best feature. This is how you know he is a Mustache Man.
Lover1: MUSTACHE MAN !!!!
Mustache Man: Wot
Lover1: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mustache Man: WOT????
Lover1: YOU SHAVED UR STACHE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo *cries*
Mustache Man: Wot
Lover1: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mustache Man: WOT????
Lover1: YOU SHAVED UR STACHE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo *cries*
by pinkypoodle9981 January 30, 2023