Bald Eagle Johnson is a descriptive term or pejorative of a black woman who wears a hair hat instead of her real hair.
Dr. D Fraud: Hey playa whatcha doin this weekend?
Home Boy: I am about to knock the wallz off dis here Bald Eagle Johnson while her fat ass shakes on my jimmy!
Home Boy: I am about to knock the wallz off dis here Bald Eagle Johnson while her fat ass shakes on my jimmy!
by DrDFraud April 23, 2021
Get the Bald Eagle Johnson mug.A loosely defined cocktail emerging on the west coast. A Bobby Johnson’s ingredients are made to order at the request of whatever the consumer feels like drinking at any given moment.
Patron: I’ll have a Bobby Johnson, please.
Bartender: .... (wears a look of confident hesitancy)
Patron: yea that’s a whiteclaw, whiskey, and lime on the rocks.
Bartender: of course, that’ll be $5
Bartender: .... (wears a look of confident hesitancy)
Patron: yea that’s a whiteclaw, whiskey, and lime on the rocks.
Bartender: of course, that’ll be $5
by B. Johnson August 28, 2019
Get the Bobby Johnson mug.When you get shit-dicked with pungent diarrhea. The kind that stings the nose and causes the eyes to water.
"I was on a Tinder date the other day and it went horrible. We had lunch at Taco Bell and she ended up giving me a Muddy Johnson later that night."
by Fructussy October 17, 2025
Get the Muddy Johnson mug.When asked a question (any question) to which one thinks you know the answer, the verb to "Johnson" is to waffle, procrastinate and create sufficient bluster so as to fool, create absolute confusion and go off on a tangent, leaving the questioning party stunned and bemused.
To hide your absolute incompetence, or unpreparedness, or lack of understanding/comprehension by spouting totally irrelevant bullshit, including latin or greek which nobody understands, as an answer to a valid and simple question. When said with the unsolicited self-confidence of an expensive Conservative-funded public school education, the "Johnson" answer can be pulled from the bag in absolutely any circumstance.
To hide your absolute incompetence, or unpreparedness, or lack of understanding/comprehension by spouting totally irrelevant bullshit, including latin or greek which nobody understands, as an answer to a valid and simple question. When said with the unsolicited self-confidence of an expensive Conservative-funded public school education, the "Johnson" answer can be pulled from the bag in absolutely any circumstance.
I asked Boris what he'd like for dinner last night, and i got such a "Johnson" answer, i couldn't remember my name and i'd lost 25 minutes of my life. I felt like i'd been hit by a fucking bus. I do vaguely remember him spouting some shit about the Bermuda Triangle and what happened to Michael Jackson. I won't be doing that again.
by dying_fish September 26, 2020
Get the Johnson mug.A real racist prick that likes to hang around asian guys but hes black. He also is a master gaslighter, extremely homophobic. Does not want his girlfriend to have she/they pronouns. He loves fighting and his a master anime weeb. He does not know taekwondo.
by ToureIsABastard March 18, 2022
Get the Toure Johnson mug.The Johnson Paradox is a phenomenon where a group of people love and support an individual, despite that individual lying repeatedly and showing the utmost corruption and hypocrisy in their daily life.
The individual might also be completely in contempt of their supporters and morally destitute, but the supporters cannot see the individual for what they are and support them regardless.
The individual might also be completely in contempt of their supporters and morally destitute, but the supporters cannot see the individual for what they are and support them regardless.
Reasonable Person 1: "So he lied to everyone and was forced out of office by his own party, yet when he returned yesterday, he was met with thunderous applause?"
Reasonable Person 2: "It's the Johnson Paradox in effect."
Reasonable Person 2: "It's the Johnson Paradox in effect."
by HypocrisySanctimony July 3, 2024
Get the the Johnson Paradox mug.by Dean68421 November 4, 2021
Get the Johnson middle school mug.