monotard

Derogatory term for an individual of such uni-dimensional nature that they are unable to express anything other than a vague sense of satisfaction at all times. May claim to be 'happy', but will actually be unaware of what this emotion constitutes. Liable to be immensely repressed, and may well become alcoholic and/or psychotic in time.

Common examples include: Jack Johnson; presenters of morning television shows; Brick Tamlin; that person in your office who's permanently happy.

Them: "Jack Johnson's music is awesome, its so chillaxed."
You : "Jesus... whats wrong with you?"
Them: "Nothing, his music makes me happy."
You : "No, you're confusing 'happiness' with 'numbness'. Happiness is a state which can only exist in relation to sadness. You're such a fucking monotard."
Them: "I love lamp".

by Murray G April 14, 2008

Snot monster

When someone is so blocked with mucus that they're dripping or spraying snot everywhere, but they have no choice and have to go to work, college, or the pub. Thusly end up gifting their infectious disease to all and sundry.

Man I was so bunged up with flu, but I had to meet Charlene at the bar so I was such a snot monster, sneezin everywhere.

by D-C Tregant April 28, 2007

Ass Face Lava Monster

A person who acts like a monster made of Lava, With an Ass for a Face......Its pretty self explanitory.

Person 1:Hey did you see that guy slap a baby sea lion in the face?
Pesron 2:Yea dude. What an Ass Face Lava Monster.

by 15 mexicans July 27, 2011

angry period monster

A female who is currently undergoing PMS, or her menstrual cycle.

An angry period monster, or APM, often exhibits the following characteristics, including, not but limited to, violent mood swings, irrational behavior, frequent irritating text message sending, being annoying, ruining your day, destroying your concentration before a test, and just being an overall bitch.

Also called angry menstruating monsters, or AMM's (pronounced "AY-DOUBLE M").

A typical text message conversation between a male and an angry period monster:

(9:43 AM) APM: can't wait to see you this fridayy!
(9:45 AM) Guy: yeah, can't wait
(9:46 AM) APM: you know what, fuck you. you're a fucking asshole.

...

(9:48 AM) APM: wtf is your problem asshole??
(9:51 AM) APM: you know what? im just done. bye.
(9:54 AM) APM: are you fucking kidding me? what the fuck is your problem?

by big tall giraffe March 4, 2011

Monster Mash

When a man with a large member engages in intercourse with a hot petite female who is willing to take it in all holes.

"See that little bitch over there? We did the monster mash last weekend and she's still limping."

by Rockabilly March 10, 2009

African Vagina Monster

an african vagina monster looks much like a large, more vagina-shaped tiger lilly, with the same coloration of the petals but it has teeth, it is not at all like a venus fly trap, do not confuse the two, while venus fly traps trap flies with theyre long, thorn like "teeth", AVM's do not trap, but just eat (with teeth much like a sharks)things, they ae most like to eat penis, fingers, tongues, or condoms. Fear this creature. it is exotic, but fierce.

"That African Vagina Monster just bit my nipple! And then i pissed all over it!"

by Hollace May 31, 2006