I Have Black Friends

The greatest excuse that racists use to try to make it look like they're not racist.

Apparently having black friends negates any racist thing you say.

Person 1: Yeah, niggers are always stealing things and killing each other. Fuck those niggers!

Person 2: Dude...what's wrong with you?

Person 1: It's okay, I have black friends. I can say this.

Person 2: I don't think it works that way.

by Bloodbath 87 March 8, 2009

i have no time

somthething your "significant other" will say to you when, realy, they're cheating on you... or maybe they just really don't hav time??

diane: hey you wanna use my pusse tonight?
frank: i have no time..i..err...need to vacuum my mom!!
diane: yea right!! your probably meeting up with jessica!! we're through!! >.<
2 hours later

Frank's mom: frank!! its time for my annual vacuum!!
frank: arrg!! coming mother!!

by 2hawt4u March 8, 2008

I have to go color

1. The ultimate lame ass excuse when someone asks you to do something. Originally used by a child.

2. A good excuse to use to totally confuse your boss.

Boss: "Jim, get to work on the Johnson account immediately"
Jim (while leaving the room): "I would but I have to go color."

by spacecowboy November 18, 2003

mommy i have aids

mommy i have aids is what you say to mommy when you have aids.

jmal "mommy i have aids."
mommy "ok then jmal."

by nolifejim November 23, 2020

do i have depression

Yes. You do.

do i have depression yes

by TannGuy November 15, 2019

I have a gold fish

A phrase you use when people tell you things that you don't give two inches of a crap about.

Dave: Hey, hows it going?
Girl at Bar: Ummm, I have a Boyfriend so....
Dave: Really? I have a gold fish.
Girl: Ok???
Dave: Ya, I thought we were talking about things that don't matter.

by Michael Busey July 3, 2011

can i have a touch

When your friend offers you a premium inhale on a fine joint

Rohan - Hey Zach, can i have a touch?
Zach - *makes hand gesture towards joint*

by touch_master August 18, 2019