Pedo-Gooning

The act of scrolling through a childs instagram comments section.

I was caught Pedo-Gooning behind the sheds at school today.

by AdolfJizzler June 28, 2024

Crusty Goon

The aftermath of the goon sessions that particularly last for a long time. Usually applies to longer goon sessions.

My room was such a crusty goon this morning.

by J0LLY July 1, 2024

Emergency goon kit

Backpack filled with emergency gooning materials when you don’t have any.
Usually porn

John: I want to goon but I don’t got anything

Mike: don’t worry I have a emergency goon kit

by Johnny schlort July 2, 2024

flicker goon sesh

the act of flicker gooning for an extended amount of time

Yo dude I just had a super long flicker goon sesh.

by DIavarium July 2, 2024

Flicker Goon

Blowing your load multiple times in quick succession, often only lasting seconds

I can only Flicker Goon for five seconds before I pass out

by Plantis July 4, 2024

moon gooning

moon gooning is a spiritual ritual where you gather together during a full moon and start gooning to resurrect the phoenix.

Get pumped bro, tonights the night we start moon gooning, we have to bring it back.

by Spimbopulis July 6, 2024

Gooning

Gooning is the dark side of the quest for the ultimate orgasm. Most gooners stumble upon the practice accidentally by edging for long periods while searching for the perfect porn scene or image to nut to. Extended edging sessions lead the gooner into trancelike states where they patiently open browser tab after browser tab for hours at a time, skilfully hovering at the brink of climax until the right stimulus is found. Successful gooning expeditions can lead to massive, seizure-like orgasms that leave the gooner barely conscious and bathed in the euphoric after-effects of their nut.

Just as the junkie increases dosage to dangerous levels and uses harder and harder substances while chasing the ultimate high, gooners become desensitised to regular pornography and must seek increasingly depraved and disgusting content to trigger that supreme climax. This can lead to the development of paraphilias and, at worst, reliance upon illegal content. Gooners cannot function without actively fantasising about sex and can therefore be identified by their rapey gaze when seeing women in public.

If you have ever edged for more than an hour with twenty or more browser windows open, you are at risk of becoming a gooner. Lay off your dick for a while and don't watch porn for a minimum of one week. This will trigger a reset and allow you to blow a load to something other than animal crush porn.

I've been gooning for so long I need to smack my balls with a table tennis paddle and watch animal crush porn just to cum. I need help.

by AidanTemple July 6, 2024