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Intellectual Masturbation

i.e. this is when one derives sexual pleasure contemplating an object or subject, and/or overthinking something outwith their expertise resulting in grandiosity from confirmation bias
She spent her days in intellectual masturbation over the one that got away...
by BitchfinderGeneral March 5, 2024
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Masturbating Mike Tyson

When a man’s penis is so long he has to assume the classic Mike Tyson peek-a-boo boxing stance — elbows tucked, fists up by his face — to reach it during masturbation. Typically involves a downward squat and intense focus, resembling a fighter preparing for battle… but for very different reasons.
“Bro, I caught Kyle in the bathroom doing the Masturbating Mike Tyson. Dude looked like he was about to throw hands with his own junk.”
by A Dude Booty Meat June 2, 2025
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Oral masturbation

Oral masturbation is when I suck my own dick until I cum in my mouth
Once I found out I could suck my own dick I began to oral masturbate daily still do oral masturbation is using one's mouth to perform oral sex on themselves self-sucking auto fellatio oral masturbation
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Masturbate

When you are so depressed that it's your only way of escape. Sure you can get pleasure from it, but it's temporary. And then you get even more depressed. Like cigarettes, It begins as a very fun and new and exciting process, given that you just discovered your puberty. But over the years, you just get tired of it.

You get tired over it and want to stop this once and for all. But you can't. You can't because it's just so addicting. It's basically self harm but a lot, lot less painful and harmful. But its still tiring. You can't stop. You regret ever starting it. But it's your only way of escape, from all your pain, suffering, and tiredness. Ever time you masturbate, you feel absolutely ashamed, pathetic, miserable and like an absolute piece of shit.

You start by feeling horny as fuck, either you probably open p*rn or just create pictures in your head of whatever fetish you have. I mostly have a fetish of female neck movement, and (partly) NATURAL and NOT FORCED female hiccups and burps. Enough of that. After that you hold your cock or shove in pussy (depends if you're a boy or girl. I am of the former.) And then you pleasure yourself as if you're having sex, but you actually don't. Many use lubricants like lotion or oil, or soap when you're in shower. but I personally prefer dry. I mostly masturbate during shower and before sleep. It's shitty, really.
Corbin: *goes to sleepover and can't masturbate*
Corbin: "guess I won't sleep today. I really need to masturbate. But I don't wanna. Man, my life just keep getting shitter."
by Joshua Joestar (MvN) June 20, 2022
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