ass jesus

God himself, embodied into a profile picture of jouta kujo and brings holiness upon the land.

"man, how did joe finally get laid?"
"nobody knows, we can only thank ass Jesus"

by juwupiter February 12, 2020

Jesus Shield

People who proselytize and wave Jesus' name around when they are directly or indirectly accused of unethical or otherwise morally hazardous behavior.

Wow - what's up with Ted! All I called out was that I thought his cheating on his wife was not cool and he pulled out his Jesus Shield!

by RoSatanSF October 15, 2013

Comin of Jesus

When you’re in trouble with your boss and having a coaching session with them.

Terry was always late for work so the boss gave him a Comin of Jesus meeting

by Dnurse15 July 10, 2021

Jesus holiday

The practice of a worker taking two days off from work ill before miraculously returning on the third day ie on the third day he rose again

Jarod was off ill on Monday and Tuesday, returning Wednesday before needing a sick note from the doctor. Must of been a Jesus holiday

by 10cc July 1, 2016

jesus slippers

flip flops or berkenstocks

you cant wear jesus slippers working in the forest

by bandana darren February 3, 2020

Plastic Jesus

A term used to describe someone puts on the facade of being holy when, in fact, they are not.

Yeah, he acts like he's offended by people's foul language, but he's not all that either because he's really just plastic Jesus.

by Ngstfld June 30, 2018

cheesus jesus

the lord's lord.

WE PRAISED CHEESUS JESUS ON FETA FRIDAY ALL THE WAY TILL SWISS SUNDAY!!

by One Bad Banana October 16, 2011