The maternal unit of preps. Most soccer moms are very proud of the fact that their kids (preps) are slaves to pop culture. They are usually content with the fact that their world is nothing but simulacra, and they have no desire to see the truth (that they're morons). They drive ungodly expensive vehicles (think: Hummer), and belong to some form of clique with other soccer moms.
Look at me! I'm a soccer mom! See my new Hummer H2? I was too stupid to negotiate on the price, so I paid $59,000 for it!
by manly man February 5, 2004
Get the Soccer mom mug.going to go out on a limb here and claim expert status on identifying and defining soccer moms. my qualifications: grew up in california suburbs. in soccer family (mom and dad both coaches). have one child myself. am 37 years old. true, i don't drink coffee. and i live in san francisco, where, in tiny pockets, soccer moms do rear their ugly (over-highlighted) heads, but are promptly ridiculed until they crawl back into their climate-controlled SUVs and circle the city, endlessly looking for parking that can accommodate their concorde-size vehicles.
soccer moms are frightened people. threatened people. they sometimes seem smug and heedless, but everything they do is governed by feelings of inadequacy. ever read the malcolm gladwell story in the new yorker that reported that the single biggest psychographics assocated with SUV drivers were (1) being a bad driver; and (2) lack of confidence about the state of your marriage? hello, soccer mom. lacking individual ambition, they channel all their fervor into their kids' lives and accomplishments, resulting, later, in many years of therapy for said offspring, who end up deranged and oppressed by the SM's maniacal child obsession. soccer moms are unhappy people, and often conflicted about the traditional (read: regressive) gender roles they have decided to embrace. they are in too much denial to admit that they, like the rest of us, just didn't want to work outside the home anymore, so they tried to turn childrearing into a career. (not saying it isn't legitimate work, but it would be nice to get an honest explanation of the original motivation.) they are threatened by women with careers, younger women and women who struggle to balance their jobs and their kids' needs and don't want to subjugate their own needs every day of their lives (and thus become bitter, like the SMs). if you resist the trappings of soccer momdom yourself, they are threatened by you. ("how can your family get by with one car? what? it's a 9 year old mazda sedan? does it even have cup holders? or tethers? or tethered cup holders?")
not even getting into the right-wing, censorship-promoting, christian reactionary part of it all, SMs are downright dangerous for the culture. they oppose critical thought on principle. man, isn't that bad enough?
soccer moms are frightened people. threatened people. they sometimes seem smug and heedless, but everything they do is governed by feelings of inadequacy. ever read the malcolm gladwell story in the new yorker that reported that the single biggest psychographics assocated with SUV drivers were (1) being a bad driver; and (2) lack of confidence about the state of your marriage? hello, soccer mom. lacking individual ambition, they channel all their fervor into their kids' lives and accomplishments, resulting, later, in many years of therapy for said offspring, who end up deranged and oppressed by the SM's maniacal child obsession. soccer moms are unhappy people, and often conflicted about the traditional (read: regressive) gender roles they have decided to embrace. they are in too much denial to admit that they, like the rest of us, just didn't want to work outside the home anymore, so they tried to turn childrearing into a career. (not saying it isn't legitimate work, but it would be nice to get an honest explanation of the original motivation.) they are threatened by women with careers, younger women and women who struggle to balance their jobs and their kids' needs and don't want to subjugate their own needs every day of their lives (and thus become bitter, like the SMs). if you resist the trappings of soccer momdom yourself, they are threatened by you. ("how can your family get by with one car? what? it's a 9 year old mazda sedan? does it even have cup holders? or tethers? or tethered cup holders?")
not even getting into the right-wing, censorship-promoting, christian reactionary part of it all, SMs are downright dangerous for the culture. they oppose critical thought on principle. man, isn't that bad enough?
The soccer mom slammed the door of her Suburban, grabbed her no-fat mint frappacino and the twins, stuffed her Coach purse and offspring in the Bugaboo and charged into Target.
by grableca April 16, 2006
Get the soccer mom mug.I know that not ALL "soccer moms" are like this...So, I'm just going to define the STEREOTYPICAL "soccer mom".
A middle/lower-upperclass caucasian (9 times out of 10) female between the ages of 25-45. Known for their huge SUVs and mini-vans laden with corny bumper stickers. Very (hyper)active members in the school district (PTA, school board, etc.). Usually has at least 3 kids...blah, blah, blah. Also famous for the "sweater on shoulders tied sleeves in front" look.
But basically, a chick who still bases her life on the bullshit foundation that women were put on this earth to cook, clean, make babies, and raise babies. Their husbands are never around, because they're probably cheating, because more than likely, she's become more overweight and more unattractive with a drastically declining sex drive...But the soccer mom is to busy picking up little Rebecca and Timmy from karate class to notice.
A middle/lower-upperclass caucasian (9 times out of 10) female between the ages of 25-45. Known for their huge SUVs and mini-vans laden with corny bumper stickers. Very (hyper)active members in the school district (PTA, school board, etc.). Usually has at least 3 kids...blah, blah, blah. Also famous for the "sweater on shoulders tied sleeves in front" look.
But basically, a chick who still bases her life on the bullshit foundation that women were put on this earth to cook, clean, make babies, and raise babies. Their husbands are never around, because they're probably cheating, because more than likely, she's become more overweight and more unattractive with a drastically declining sex drive...But the soccer mom is to busy picking up little Rebecca and Timmy from karate class to notice.
Again, not all "soccer moms" are like this...but then, that wouldn't make them soccer mom now would it?
by PS, I'm Black April 21, 2008
Get the soccer mom mug.by noobinessthe3rd August 15, 2009
Get the soccer mom mug.the worst people next to to the guys at peta.they are always enforcing censorship,taking their kids to sporting event that the don't wan't compete in,and going to pta meetings
Me:hey dude,have you heard blood sugar sex magik?
Soccer Mom:how could your parents let you listen to that smut!
me:well,because my parents don't care if a song has cuss words in it.they know its not their decsion whast i listen to.
later i come in contact with the same soccer mom while playing my on hot minute cd
Soccer Mom:turn that stuff off!there are children present!
I grab my machette and slice her head off and continue my day
Soccer Mom:how could your parents let you listen to that smut!
me:well,because my parents don't care if a song has cuss words in it.they know its not their decsion whast i listen to.
later i come in contact with the same soccer mom while playing my on hot minute cd
Soccer Mom:turn that stuff off!there are children present!
I grab my machette and slice her head off and continue my day
by futuramafan May 26, 2008
Get the soccer mom mug.Drive huge SUVs, are the cause of a lot of car accidents. They feel entitled since everything was handed to them on a silver platter. Really rude, and seen yelling at people in the stores at 1 pm in the afternoon in their ugly gym clothes. They probably think Africa is a country.
Censor everything by creating a bubble for their sheltered children.Their daughters are usually dumb blonde sluts, and their sons play sports & are usually stupid bullies. She thinks her kids are the sweetest people ever, but she doesnt know they have a secret dark side of watching porn, sleeping around, doing drugs, and bullying others in school.Children are forced down the same path as their soccer moms life causing the unfortunate cycle to repeat. sometimes the child is intelligent enough they will REBEL and become a hippie, OR just go off adventuring in the Peace Corps to experience the life they were sheltered from.
Censor everything by creating a bubble for their sheltered children.Their daughters are usually dumb blonde sluts, and their sons play sports & are usually stupid bullies. She thinks her kids are the sweetest people ever, but she doesnt know they have a secret dark side of watching porn, sleeping around, doing drugs, and bullying others in school.Children are forced down the same path as their soccer moms life causing the unfortunate cycle to repeat. sometimes the child is intelligent enough they will REBEL and become a hippie, OR just go off adventuring in the Peace Corps to experience the life they were sheltered from.
by jamesmc534 November 17, 2013
Get the soccer mom mug.An American bourgeois woman of the post baby boom generation, who, instead of reaping the benefits of the sexual revolution that her foremothers and sisters fought so hard for, sold out to the new patriarchy which promised stability in the form of white suburban neighborhoods, wordSUVwords, drive-through wordStarbuckswords and yearly trips on Carnival Cruise Line. The only dose of women's lib that transpired through their lifestyle is their endorsement of the the typically male dominated tradition of sport (usually soccer) onto their daughters. But don't be fooled - the fact that these women refer to themselves as "soccer MOMS" only reaffirms their sociological status as mere vessels for the incubation of their progeny.
I just got back from my high school reunion, and all the old cheerleaders are now lard-assed soccer moms.
by Anonymous July 23, 2003
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