Tech Support Scam

When someone from India cold calls you and says you have a problem with your "dextop" computer. They use scare tactics, such as the Event Viewer (eventvwr) and the Tree command in Command Prompt to try and convince you that you have a "wirus" on your "dextop." They ask you to pay a large sum of money for the "fixes," and if you don't pay, they try to put syskey on your computer, which locks you out of your computer. Popular topic for Youtubers and pranksters.

#1: Did you get that call from Microsoft yesterday?
#2: No, it was a Tech Support Scam. It was not Microsoft.

by Scam Buster August 29, 2016

emotional support character

A character in any media form, usually from a TV show, that a fan feels close to emotionally and becomes their favorite character on the show. They would hypothetically die for that character because of how highly they think of them and would protect them at all costs.

"I cried when Charlie died in Supernatural"
"She's just a character on a TV show. It's not that deep"
"But she's my emotional support character"

by thehalocline June 4, 2020

tech support

A phone line provided by companies so that they can say that they support their products and services. Their philosophy is that the longer you spend on the phone, and the more menus and people you talk to, the more you feel valued as a customer. On the other line you will find:

1) A person who is proficient in communicating to you how inferior you are to their intellect.
2) A person who lacks the language skills to communicate proficiently, but does their best to make you feel inferior to their intellect.
3) A recorded menu system that somehow manages to communicate your inferiority to its intellect.

"I just spent three hours on tech support. Take the gun out of the shoebox in the closet and shoot me."

by manchld September 21, 2004

tech support

the meaningless job that all Devry drop outs get stuck with becuase they are to lazy to graduate college, but just smart enough to piss someone off on the phone and accidently hang up on them because i'm so goddamn pissed off that i just tried to hang myself with my phone cord but i'm such a raging pansy that everytime i get close to blacking out i freak out and just continue on with the call. Tech support reps are the most pent up raging potential violent crimnals in America. I hate my life and i don't give a shit if you can't get on the internet.

Caller:i can't get on the internet
Tech Support: is your computer on.
Caller:uh... is that the big gray box or the small black one?
Tech:(on mute:Kill me now God.) The big one.
Caller:it's supposed to be on?
Tech:(on mute: why do you allow people to live God?)Yes Sir.
Caller: Well give me a minute and i'll turn it on.
Tech:(on mute- You stupid ass hole turn on your goddamn computer before you call, i hate you,your wife,your children even your cat, i hate your cat.) Sure thing Sir take your time.(since i've got all f-ing day.) That's what i'm here for.
Caller: Your such a nice person to be so patient with me.
Tech: Thank you sir.(on mute-i wish death on you. Why? why did i deserve this living hell?)

STOP CALLING ME I HATE ALL OF HUMANITY. That's tech support

by TSPAUL January 21, 2006

microsoft customer support

A phrase that may be used to describe anything that does not exist.

"Dude, that unicorn is just like Microsoft customer support!"

by Herter1 February 15, 2009

child support

A support plan for a parent (always the father regardless of the situation) to help with expenses of their children after divorce. Unfortunatly, it is based on laws written when mothers could not enter the workforce, and had no way to provide for their children. It is necessary for parents that do not have joint custody, but these days with split (50 - 50) custody, women are still awarded child support, for some unknown reason, and still bitch about it on a daily basis. Along with their Alimony payment, its a potential windfall taking a year or so to plan out. Generally, a child support seeker does this multiple times and ends up having 6 kids from 3 different fathers, and no longer has to work. Of course she is still unhappy, wonders why she is alone, and how did she manage to pick three losers in a row??? To help with her self esteem issues, she refers to the ex towards her children as dead beat dad!. This makes her feel superior, influences the kids (until they get older and realize mom was never anything more than a life support system for a pussy in the first place and never really contributed anything to society other than helping stimulate the economy with someone elses money.) As time goes on, and child support and Alimony payments dry up, they are forced to attempt to enter the work force again, only to find that you can't get a job that pays you to do nothing but bitch and sit on that ever expanding ass watching soap operas all day. Their job experience consist of working at Mc. Donalds when they were 16, and a professional waste of life from the date of marrige to present.

Ex Wife: I need some extra money for the kids Dr. Appointment this week.
Ex Husband: I dont understand. I have the exact same expenses you do, we share the kids 50 - 50, and I pay you child support and alimony on top of that. Then I have to split all medical bills too.
Ex Wife: You are such a piece of shit! Your a loser!
Ex Husband: You are getting all the money from me that you are going to get!!!!
Ex Wife: Why wont you work with me on this? Im trying to communicate with you?
Ex Husband: Sounds like you need to get married and divorced again so you can get even more of a free ride! You have 5 kids, 2 ex husbands and an ex boyfriend, dont have a job, and are a waste of carbon!!!
Ex Wife: Sob, sob, sob. Blah, blah, blah.
Ex Husband: Gotta go get ready and pack for my vacation with my kids and my new hootche mama. Do you wanna talk to the kids?

by Mr. Response February 15, 2006

customer support fever

A sexual preference of non-Indians for denizens of the Indian subcontinent, particularly after India's sudden rise to power, following the economic boom of the early 21st century. The "customer support" moniker stems from the fact that people who call Customer Support for large software companies will often end up speaking with an Indian person.

White guy: Have you seen Aishwarya Rai? She is freakin' hot!
Asian guy: Man, you've got a bad case of customer support fever!

by f.o.b. jew November 13, 2007