deposition officer

A person pretending to be a certified shorthand reporter/stenographer/court reporter. They have no education, skills, or abilities to type. They are not qualified to even scope a transcript. They push a button to record what is going on in the room. All attorneys and witnesses think this person is qualified because they pretend to be. They are not qualified to do anything. They cannot read back. They cannot produce a transcript. They cannot type. After the legal proceedings, they outsource the audio tape to India or China and have someone whose second or third language is actually English to transcribe it. However, because they are secretly fooling everyone, they charge the price of an educated, accurate, real shorthand reporter. It is very much questionable whether the transcripts produced are legally certified and can be used to impeach witnesses at trial.

Excuse me, Miss Reporter. I didn’t hear that answer. Can you please read that back?

No, Counsel. I cannot read that back. I am an deposition officer. I can push play on the audio. I have secretly been recording. I’m not actually typing any of this. I’m charging you the same price as though I’m typing, but I’m not. I am merely recording it and making sure the recording is clear so I can send it to someone whose first language is not even English to do the rest for me

by anonymous December 5, 2024

'office space' syndrome

'office space' syndrome is self-exonoration from social and/or work-related obligations arising from a increasingly disaffective attitude towards society, results from a change of plans after one wakes up, suddenly enlightened.

If you wake up one day and decide to quit your job and move to California to surf every day, you have 'office space' syndrome.

by Steven Kelly January 20, 2009

office bladder

A condition where one finds oneself getting up to pee much more often when sitting in an office as opposed to other settings. Especially if this condition cannot be explained by water or coffee consumption alone.

Person 1: Something about being in an office means I have to pee like every half hour. Usually I can hold it for 10 hours! What gives?
Person 2: Sounds like office bladder. Maybe you're so sick of just sitting there at your desk that as soon as your bladder has anything in it you go, 'time to get up to pee!'

by the only Chi on this website September 19, 2014

Office chick

She a big bitch, lowkey mid. Puts a cat on a leash who tf does that also her voice annoying af

That person over there is a office chick

by Menenjoyer June 17, 2022

office 2 iron

another good guy to be or good to have on your team, he can often deliver in tight or hairy situations, he'll make the call, the decision, the play tht others shy away from cause they are shitless. He doesn't waiver, doesn't bull-shit, says it like it is, a real straight-shooter.

Jackson: I can't believe Jones got away with that from Miller.
Murphy: that's because Miller knows that Jones is the office 2 iron, anybody else would have got fired on the spot for making that comment.

by lastgreatnobody March 28, 2009

Post Officed

To be blamed for the incompetence or mistakes of others usually ending in reprimand or jail. Derived from the British Post Office scandal of 2023. Same context as “thrown under the bus”

“Tony totally Post Officed me today in front of the boss - probably get fired for it”

by PostmansHorizon January 20, 2024

Officer H. PRATT

Nigga in LS who's about to rip your ass up if u try him. He usually hangs with T. Faubourg. Words on street is that he took so many drugs and dracos from every nigga around LS, he doesn’t even declare them anymore.

Random nigga on Iddlewood : Keep yo choppa safe, officer H. Pratt finna take em from you.

by shitforeal May 25, 2020