Knuckle Bagel

If you think about it, what is a knuckle sandwich? You slap your fist into your palm, that’s the bread and the sandwich bits. Where’s the other piece of bread?

But a bagel… a bagel’s still a bagel with one side missing. Hence, you get the “Knuckle Bagel.”

Arguably more threatening than a “knuckle sandwich.”

“Hey wise guy. You’re in for a knuckle bagel”
*rubs fist into palm menacingly.*

by jbongo September 12, 2025

Steamed Bagel

After relaxing in a steam room at a luxurious spa for a minimum of 30 minutes, a male’s scrotum becomes loose and saggy. When the occupant exits the steam room the steamy scrotum is then placed on another person’s nose. The testicles need to be maneuvered in such a way to rest on either side of the nostril forming the infamous “steamed bagel” sandwich. This is a common practice on the Connecticut Shoreline.

Other variations include a frozen bagel which is primarily performed in the Nordic region of the world to relieve migraines during the arctic darkness months.

Bob, is your sack ready? I need a steamed bagel before I play golf.

Bob, my sinus’ always clear up after you give me a steamed bagel.

Bob, your balls are too cool for a steamed bagel; they need to be steaming!

by RustyTrumpets October 5, 2025

Bagel Music

'be͡ɪɡə͡l 'mju zɪk

Noun.
1. Your favorite song.

2. A song that you would listen to while you're getting a bagel.

"What's your bagel music?"

"So, this is the kind of bagel music you listen to."

by Not Lucas Marcus October 8, 2025

Bagel

What you say after you trick your friend into looking over there.

guy1: hi guy2
guy2: look over there
guy1: huh
guy2: BAGEL
guy1: kill yourself

by BrainNourishment October 23, 2025

Bagel balls

KP’s ballsack

Hey! Check out KP’s bagel balls!

by Thanks bye December 5, 2025

Tea bagel

To put ones anus onto another's forehead in the manner of tea bagging

"I thought he was going to tea bag me but he gave me a tea bagel instead"

by That_one_witch December 17, 2025

The Better Bagel

The bagel that broke the internet. Featuring the same net carb content as 2 slices of banana, 26g protein. No added sugar. Basically everybody's dream come true. It's the holy grain. The future. The most epic discovery of the 21st century. It's been reported that people are willing to do anything to get their hands on more Better Bagels. Some have tried trading their kids. The magic cannot be explained.

I really wish I was eating The Better Bagel instead of these carb-filled, high-calorie ones.

by BetterBagel November 23, 2021