You picked the wrong house, fool!

A popular line from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas said by Big Smoke, during the intro mission of the game. It's the first thing Big Smoke says, too.

Big Smoke: *storms in with a baseball bat* You picked the wrong house, fool!
CJ: 'ey, 'ey 'ey 'ey, Big Smoke, it's me, Carl, chill, chill!

by Gamma the Enigma August 19, 2016

You picked the wrong house, fool!

"You picked the wrong house, fool!" are the words spoken by Big Smoke as he proceeds to advance on CJ with a baseball bat. When he says this it makes virtually no sense so here's a good dumber-down for you:
YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE FOOL YOU CHOSE THE WRONG PROPERTY SIMPLETON YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO BURGLE THE INCORRECT ESTATE NINCONPOOP INEGLECT TO INFORM TO YOU THAT YOU APPEAR TO HAVE CHOSEN THE OPTION TO THE INCORRECT AREA OF PRIVATE PROPERTY AS IAM PRESENT AND READY TO STRIKE YOU WITH A LARGE WOODEN POLE USED IN THE VERY COMMON AMERICAN SPORT KNOW AS BASEBALL TO THE AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE WHO HAS APPEARED TO HAVE ENTERED THE HOUSEHOLD IN WHICH I AM CURRENTLY PRESENT I APPEAR TO HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO TRESSPASS INTO A VERY POOR CHOICE OF AVAILABLE HOUSES AS I AM HERE WITH A HEAVG BLUNT OBJECT AND COULD IFICHOOSE STRIKE YOU MULTIPLE TIMES UPON THE HEAD AND FACE WHICH WOULD UNDOUBTABLY CAUSE SERVERE AND POSSIBLY LETHAL INTERNAL BLEEDING WITH THIS INFORMATION BEING PRESENT I STRONGLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU LEAVE THIS HOME BEFORE THE SITUATION MUST BE ESCALATED ANY FURTHER

Big Smoke: "You picked the wrong house, fool!"
CJ: "Woah, Woah, Big Smoke its me, it's CJ!"

by Dmitri Strelnikov January 19, 2017

YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE, FOOL!

Big Smoke

YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE, FOOL!

AY, AY AY AY! BIG SMOKE! IT'S ME, CARL! CHILL, CHILL!

by Kenton Makings October 28, 2018

balls in the mouth balls in the mouth looking like a fool with those balls in your mouth

a rendetion of the popular song "pants on the ground" reffering not to so called" gangsta's" but to all those dirty skank ho-bag peniscakes.

Ted: yo i was in an alley last night and i saw a girl giving head...
jim: you shudda said " balls in the mouth balls in the mouth looking like a fool with those balls in your mouth"
Ted: oh...maybe next time.

by bjjm April 29, 2010

You picked the wrong house, Fool!

The thing you say when a burglar breaks inside your house

Burglar: Breaks in
You: You picked the wrong house, Fool!

by PetrosNoob101 December 12, 2019

The Internet is always accessed by a crook and a fool.

A modern adaptation of the “crook and fool” proverb, emphasizing that anyone connecting to the internet is simultaneously a potential target of exploitation (the fool) and potentially a predator themselves (the crook). It’s a reminder that the internet is not a neutral space: it is structured to enable both scams and predation. The saying warns against assuming good faith online and urges constant awareness that in any interaction, one might be playing either role—or both.

"The Internet is always accessed by a crook and a fool."

by Abzugal Nammugal Enkigal March 25, 2026

Every day a crook and a fool leave home. When the two meet, someone makes a deal.

A cynical proverb describing the mechanics of exploitation: the world is full of people willing to cheat (crooks) and people ready to be cheated (fools). When they encounter each other, a transaction happens—a scam, a bad bargain, a manipulation—where the crook wins and the fool loses. The saying suggests that such encounters are inevitable, not exceptional, and that vigilance is required to avoid being the fool. It is often invoked to warn against trusting too easily, especially in business, politics, or online interactions.

"Every day a crook and a fool leave home. When the two meet, someone makes a deal." Example: “He thought the crypto investment opportunity was real. His friend quoted the old saying: every day a crook and a fool leave home. When the two meet, someone makes a deal.”

by Abzugal Nammugal Enkigal March 25, 2026