Socialism is a socio-economic and political
philosophy invented by some drunk kid trying to get pussy in his Current Social Issues class at Devry University. Common proponents of socialism include men under 5'8" with curved penises, butthurt Turks and Iranians,
people that are online for 10+ hours a
day, retarded 19-year-olds with no life experience, and champagne progressive political figures who like to say socialist shit in media drive-by shots.
The
definition of 'true' socialism and its historicity remain contentious topics of debate, but most definitions generally include the position that
people should get to decide when they get to use the bathroom at work. Some proponents of socialism argue that it is whatever form of
government "makes it so they can stop making shit with their hands and like, uh, just do
internet stuff."
Despite common sense suggesting that socialism is antithetical to the driving forces of innovation, incompatible with modern meritocratic frameworks, incongruous with efficient resource allocation, prone to logistical inundation, contingent on everyone simultaneously becoming less self-important than its proponents, and reliant on the same collectivist principles that precipitated the worst living conditions and crimes against humanity in recorded history - socialists are certain that it's way better than the systems that took humanity from shitting in holes in the ground to palm-sized supercomputers with proto-AGI in 120 years.
Socialist #1: Oh my
god, did you see AOC's "Tax the Rich" dress, hand-crafted by millionaire designer
Aurora James, that she wore to the $35,000-per-ticket Met Gala? Soo socialism.
Socialist #2: She has my vote.
