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Laying down the Carpet 

The act of laying down, or placing a single or a double segment of toilet paper on the surface of the water in the toilet bowl, in order to stop or significantly reduce "splash backs" when relieving oneself.
"I felt the urge to take the biggest crap yesterday and I was afraid I might get some splash-back, so I laid down the carpet before I initiated. 60 percent of the time, it works.... EVERY TIME!"
"Laying down the carpet saved my ass from years of shitty water splashing my asshole."

laying down the rape sword 

The act of owning your opponent in a competition. Similar to doing the rapedance or boarding the rapetrain.
Chuck and I were laying down the rape sword in Mario Tennis doubles today.

Picking up what you're laying down 

to dig or dig it
to understand/appreciate
a way to acknowledge that you follow what you're being told
a: once you turn left off of wisconsin avenue, the road splits, you want to take the hard right...
b: i'm picking up what you're laying down

Laying down wolfbait 

A sudden and URGENT need to poop with complete disregard for facilities or location.
camping~Dude what the fuck! Whose been laying down wolfbait outside my tent?
At a bar~Dude watch the door for me while I lay down some wolfbait....

At a party~We gotta go, I stopped up the bowl trying to flush down the angry wolfbait I dropped off.

Laying Down the Law 

A man with an unusually large dick who keeps his woman cock-whipped simply by the pleasure he gives her in bed. He's the boss of his castle. When he says jump, she says how high? And if she ever gets upitty, he simply whips out his massive rod of correction and bangs on her until she begs her master for mercy. Basically she's addicted to his big cock and will be good so she doesn't risk losing it.
"I told my woman to get me a beer last night and she had the nerve to tell me to get it myself. Well, I had to lay down the law real good after that. I gave it to her for an hour and a half. But I think she wanted it that way all along."

"So how's that new boyfriend of yours in bed, Julie?"
"Well, he's sweet and all, but he's not exactly Laying Down the Law if you know what I mean."
"Oh yeah. I know the type. I give it 2 weeks tops."

picking up what you're laying down 

A phrase to let someone know you understand what they're talking about.
Dude: So then Brenda says she wants to get in the back seat.

Other dude: I'm picking up what you're laying down.