Missouri Mattress

The act of lending your mattress to a friend once you have refused to let them sleep in your room.

Boy: Hey I need to borrow your room tonight...
Girl: No way! #blessed
Boy: Don't CB, she could be the one. What about Missouri compromise?
Girl: I guess we can do Missouri mattress. Thank you!

by Missouri Mattress March 1, 2015

Missouri mattress

When you (Jack-off) on your brown recluse bite and then rub shit in it.

Supervisor : Bobby was late for work again.

Boss: yeah he needs to deal with that Missouri mattress or he's not gonna make the quotas.

by PhantomEagle November 24, 2023