Edward Cullen

A sorry excuse for a vampire. Instead of doing something incredibly awesome like exploding in the sun, he instead ruins the opportunity and glitters like a disney fairy. If blade were nearby, he would decapitate edward without even a second thought. Edward is pale to the point that most people would assume that he has skin cancer. He is the reason that global warming should be allowed to continue.

Becka: I Loooove Edward Cullen

Sam: Shut up ho

Edward Cullen by nx7oee March 25, 2009

Edward Cullen

A 118 year old vampire pedophile who is in love with an 18 year old girl, Bella Swan. His main hobby is watching Bella sleep. While most people would think this is creepy, it is now socially acceptable, because Edward is so darn gorgeous that whatever he does is amazing. Edward also enjoys eating mountain lions, smashing things to show how strong he is, and saving Bella from getting killed. Edward Cullen had set the standards so high for men to follow, that women will even compare their boyfriends to him. Some even say, "Why aren't you more like Edward?" Edward is what girls fantasize about, and what boys throw their darts at.

Girl: I cannot believe you! Why don't you want to get married at age 18? We are in love! If Edward Cullen was my boyfriend, he would marry me! You need to be more like him!

Edward Cullen by craziness15 February 7, 2010

Edward Cullen

Basically a lifeless vampire that brain washes 13 year old girls into thinking hes real. And he sparkles, but only in the sunlight.

Edward: I'm Edward Cullen and I sparkle in the sunlight.

Jacob: bark bark.

Edward Cullen by Rickiyson December 22, 2008

Edward Cullen

A fictional character in Stephenie Meyer's novel series Twilight. He is a vampire with the ability to read minds with the exception of Bella Swan.

Not only is he the world's oldest virgin, he is also the world's oldest pedophile.

Many girls within the 12-15 age range, are infatuated with him, and have created this need for the "perfect" boy whom also happens to be a vampire. Once they realize that no such boy exist, they start to believe that Edawrd Cullen is real, and read the book more than 2 times, to help push the idea further, along with their insanity.

Beth - OMG!!!!!! I am TOTALLY going to marry EDWARD CULLEN!!!!!!!!! We are TOTALLY made for each other!!!!!!!!!

Allie - You're in love with a guy who doesn't even EXIST? Have fun trying to marry your book....

Edward Cullen by adome March 26, 2009

Edward Cullen

A creepy, 108-year-old virgin pedophile who stalks a girl with less personality than a rock, invented by Stephanie Meyer to brainwash preteen girls in her plan to controll the world.
For some obscure reason, Edward and his whole vampire group sparkle in the sunlight. This was illistrated in the weirdly popular movie, "Twilight," by a few specks of glitter and the tinkling of fairy bells.
Edward like to believe that he is a vampire, rather than a scary-looking insomniac with a blood fetish.
See also, stalker,gay,pedophile, creepy, and eunuch

Girl under the age and IQ of 15: "Edward Cullen is great! He's so romantic and protective!"
Girl in possession of braincells: "No. It's called pedophilia."

Edward Cullen by einzweidrei April 12, 2010

Edward Cullen

A male in Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" series.

Often the focus of female teenage trend-follower's wet dreams. How can they not? I mean... he goes into the sun and... SPARKLES! "Yum?"

Right, then.

Overall, a "perfect guy" made by a female writer that appeals heavily to young women or teens. The only reason that he makes me happy, is because it sets each and every fan girl up for a large amount of disappointment when they meet a real man.

Enjoy, Twilight fan-girls. Please be sure to write juicy comments.

P.S.: Please do use proper spelling and grammar when responding. It isn't nice to give people headaches.

My girlfriend is currently trying to remove my nipple for trying to post this entry on the fag, Edward Cullen.

Ow! My Edward Colon!

Edward Cullen by OwMyNipple October 21, 2008

Edward Cullen

Edward Cullen:

What do *I* say to that? Well, for starters, he's--most arguably--the oldest virgin in the history of the oldest virgins every recorded. Somehow, I can't understand how he has pale skin but goes into the sun and fucking SPARKLES. How the fuck do you sparkle with pale skin? I'm pretty sure even that Count Dracula himself can't answer that...

Anywho, as Bella may see him as "kind", "caring", "stubborn"... Poor girl. For an "intelligent" person, you sure are one DUMB retard. Edward is ABUSIVE! He is insecure, Bella! Look it up!


Who the hell watches you sleep at night(and you don't even know the motherfucker, either)? Who the hell contemplates suicide when he can't have the one he loves?

...Right.

Anywho, seeing as Edward Cullen is the prettiest "vampire" EVER, I suppose fangirls would take an immediate disliking to this. (Like I give a damn...)

Anyway, Edward lives out his pathetically "gorgeous" life with his vampire lover/toy Bella and their daughter, the spawn of satan, Rene-- ...I give up trying to pronounce her name.

Retarded Fangirl: Like OMG! Twilight has a happy ending! Edward Cullen issofuckinghotlikeOMGIcan'ttakeitanymore!

Sensible Person: Yeah, uh...Shut the hell up.

Edward Cullen by Infinite Structure April 28, 2009