floaturd 

The buoyant nugget sized turd that remains in the bowl after the flush

Dave, I went to use the crapper and some nasty jerk left a bunch of floaturds behind. I think somebody else's wife cooks worse than mine.

floaturd by Mr metal chip July 23, 2015

floatard 

Someone who looks especially ridiculous or reprehensible while swimming in a pool, especially those who are adults and are on or using a floatation device, such as water wings.

Check out those floatards over there eating Popeye's fried chicken in the swimming pool.

floatard by The Great Badger October 17, 2008