spastitute 

A spastic who's general lack of self esteem and rock bottom economic /social standing has ultimately led them into proistitution and or drug addiction. Having arisen as a direct result of the global econoimic recession spastitutes now have a niche market in the world of prostitution often with client bases consisting of the rich, famous and powerful. It is rumoured that 3 spastitutes actually have a hidden bum dungeon 30 feet below the house of commons.

Hello their tarquin, im off to play polo would you care to join me?

Why thank you sebastian, but i must politely decline as im parked on double yellows and there's an angry spastitute in my boot gagging on a cuntflannel.

spastitute by necromancer March 6, 2012

substitute person 

A person that is only desired or wanted at their significant other's conveinience.

From a quote by "Claire" in the film Elizabethtown

The significant other of the substitute person may not "have enough time" or "be too busy" for a relationship, or they may only be interested for the purpose of sex, money, status, or general need of someone to talk to during times of stress. The substitute person generally won't get the emotional fulfillment from the experience that he/she may crave, and will feel unimportant yet somehow will continue on out of hope.

This can only end in tears for the substitute person.

substitute person by Bird Bird Bird April 24, 2010

Substitute teacher 

Someone who does not know anything about teaching, yet still gets payed while the students don't learn anything that day

We had a substitute teacher today so we didn't do shit

Substitute teacher by stanimal51 June 12, 2016

I reject your reality and substitute my own. 

A quote from the low-budget sci-fi/fantasy film The Dungeonmaster, popularized by Adam Savage of Mythbusters, this quote basically means "you may be technically right, but you're not changing my mind." This can come off as stubborn, but it really doesn't matter, since you don't care about the technical "facts".

Person 1: Ugh this character's design is so terrible and pointless.
Person 2: Well actually, did you know that it's design comes from goes on to prove person 1 wrong
Person 1: I reject your reality and substitute my own.
Person 2: -sigh- Okay then, moving on...

I reject your reality and substitute my own. by Kali_Gratitude_Rok7 August 20, 2018

I reject your reality and substitute my own. 

Breaking the rules: like being able to kill the bad guy even though you already died.

Sword Art Online Abridged Parody: Episode 11

Kirito: I reject your reality and substitute my own.
Kayaba: "NICE!! Dungeonmaster!"
Kirito: "What? No! Mythbusters... What the hell is Dungeonmaster?"
Kayaba: "Oh. I was so happy there for a second."

I reject your reality and substitute my own. by Animefangirl365 December 13, 2018

coffee substitute 

Any replacement for coffee. Energy drinks are commonly used as a coffee substitute. Tea can be a coffee substitute for some people, as well as caffeine tablets.

Person #1: "Do you still drink coffee?"

Person #2: "Come to think of it, not as much. I am using energy drinks much more often as a coffee substitute."

coffee substitute by yes juanito yes February 14, 2012

substitute

Also called "sub", the poor person, either fresh out of college or old and retired, who fills in for absent teachers. The sub can expect to be ridiculed and tortured by bitch-ass 7th graders who will do anything in their power not to finish an easy worksheet left them by their teacher. The sub is basically a $55/day babysitter.

Bitch-ass kid: Ah hell yeah we got a substitute today! We ain't doin shit! Hey Mister, uhh...Mister!(kid can't read last name on the board because he's an illiterate degenerate) Can I go to da bafroom?

substitute by Zach "Mr." Cress January 25, 2006