Copthamologist 

Somebody who is a wannabe cop.. Even worse than the real thing. Tells you about all the "sweet takedowns" they know how to do and how "I'll get on the force" after they lose like fifty pounds of beer weight and quit working at whatever shitty job they have, if they have one.

Bryce - " bro quit laughing at me or I will put you in the oppressed black man hold i see on tv"
Joe- "Fuck you Bryce, you're just a copthamologist, you don't know shit you racist buttfuck."

Copthamologist by Professor Precious March 4, 2015

Vopthamologist 

A veterinary ophthalmologist.

An ophthalmologist is a doctor who takes care of your eyes. A veterinary ophthalmologist takes care of your animals eyes.

AKA vet eye doctor.

My dog’s eyes look red and inflamed. I think it’s time to see a vopthamologist.

One of my dogs eyes is entirely white, my vet recommended a nearby vopthamologist to give him the best care.

Vopthamologist by Amelia Starling May 2, 2019