unmasturbate 

The secret process sought by all boys of puberty age after they discover that their eyes are going to cross, that they have given themselves venereal disease, and all the other various horror myths which adult men tell them about masturbation.

Buddy has been asking all his uncles on the sly how to unmasturbate because his crotch has suddenly begun to itch and he thinks he's given himself the clap.

unmasturbate by The Grottomaster June 29, 2011

unmasturbatable 

A porn scene that is so terrible it is literally impossible to jerk off to it.

Johnny: "Did you see that scene where the dude fucks an inflatable sheep?"
Alexis: "Yeah, it was terrible. What were they even thinking?"
Johnny: "I say, it was downright unmasturbatable!"

unmasturbatable by Slartibartfast11 February 13, 2023